An imaginary conversation between this Jon Stewart and the one from our own universe: “So they keep coming back to ‘remember 9/11’…” “Wait. What’s 9/11?” “The terrorist attacks on September 11, 2001 that killed almost three thousand people and have been embedded in our national consciousness ever since…you mean those didn’t happen in your universe?… Continue reading Chapter 3 Page 01

That’s a modified Lockheed SR-71 “Blackbird”, a design known in the Shineverse as the Incredibly Awesome Plane. Stephen: Do you have to be such a buzzkill, Jon? We’ve destroyed our careers, our reputations, and our legacies, for the sake of this flight. We might as well enjoy it! Besides, who’s going to catch us at… Continue reading Chapter 3 Page 02

Jon: Ow! What’s in that bottle? Bleach? [SCRUB SCRUB] Stephen: Holy water. Shake it off, Stewart! The burn means it’s working. Jon: S-so it doesn’t mean I’m turning into a…was that thing a vampire? Stephen: Of course not. That was only a ghoul. Jon: “Only”?! Stephen: Gee, Jon, which would you rather be up against?… Continue reading Chapter 3 Page 04

The US government has always been pretty rubbish at dealing with the supernatural. Fortunately, we have the ultra-patriotic Warbucks Corporation, as well as a ridiculous amount of free agents, invested in keeping us safe. Stephen, meanwhile, is none of the above. (Although Sweetness was manufactured by Warbucks.) Jon: Okay, first, how old do you think… Continue reading Chapter 3 Page 05

Years later, when TDS moved to a new studio and TCR was set up in this one, the Colbunker was indeed set up underneath. Jon: You know, we could always hide in the office. With the couch. And the room to stretch. Stephen: And the glass panels in the door, and the very large windows… Continue reading Chapter 3 Page 06

The Archbishop in question is the recently promoted Enrico Maxwell. Jon: …Stephen. When you say “Nazis.” Do you mean Hollywood stock villains with swastikas painted on to show how evil they are? Or do you mean–? Stephen: I don’t know, Jon! They never tell me all the details. They mostly just point me in the… Continue reading Chapter 3 Page 07

For those of you tracking the parallels to scenes from Hellsing, this mirrors Integra’s injunction to Walter: “Come back alive…at any cost.” Jon: A sideshow. We’re a– Stephen: Shhh! You hear that? [snatch] Jon: I didn’t– Stephen: I said, shhh! [SNAP] Hang on to this. Anything tries to get in here, you stake first and… Continue reading Chapter 3 Page 08

Back in the present, where Stephen is parodying a Tom Bombadil song. (As he did once on TCR, during the Neil Gaiman interview.) Jon: We’re going to die. Stephen: None has ever caught him yet, for Stephen, he is master! His songs are stronger songs, and his wings are faster! Jon: Uh, Stephen? Melodious as… Continue reading Chapter 3 Page 09