To the tune of Bowling For Soup’s “Girl All The Bad Guys Want”

(Alucard)
It’s midnight, Hellsing basement, where I’m waiting
To finally drink from a girl who’s just as stubborn as me
Her name’s Integra, she’s got glasses and she’s thirteen
She will defend the honor of her proud family

And when she walks
All the wind blows under the red sky
She won’t acknowledge me!

‘Cause she’s sending troops out
Silencing the vampires
Feuding with the Catholics
Strength burning in her eyes

It’s like a bad manga
She’s the head honcho
If you were me then you’d go
“Someone shoot me, pronto!”
As I fail to bestow
A bite on the neck all the vampires want
She has the neck all the vampires want

She’s a human still and I’m her “pet” vampire
Her blood is rushing, pumped with courage and a sexy allure
Every last freak we fight would like a taste of that blood
She’ll never see that I’m the best she could ever get

And when she walks
All the wind blows under the red sky
She won’t acknowledge me!

‘Cause she’s sending troops out
Silencing the vampires
Feuding with the Catholics
Strength burning in her eyes

She’d only go for flat teeth
Heartbeat underneath
Someone who likes sunlight
Why won’t she embrace the night?

It’s like a bad manga
She’s the head honcho
If you were me then you’d go
“Someone shoot me, pronto!”
As I fail to bestow
A bite on the neck all the vampires want
She has the neck all the vampires want

There she goes again
A cross pin holds the scarf around her neck
She broke my heart, at least what I have left there
All I wanted was to see her throat bare!

Now I’m walking through walls
Shooting other vampires
Incognito, Baobhan sith
Their goal was the same as mine
I can’t live in sunlight
But I’m not Jan Valentine
Still want her to own me, own me, own me…

It’s like a bad manga
She’s the head honcho
If you were me then you’d go
“Someone shoot me, pronto!”
As I fail to bestow
A bite on the neck all the vampires want!