To the tune of the Vapors’ “Turning Japanese.” Lyrics written by meowkatj.

(Seras)
He said, “Hey Seras, are you still pure?
Are you a virgin?” I said, “Well sure.”
Now I’m steppin’ out in Hellsing couture
He shot a bullet into my lung
Though I’m no pansy, it kind of stung
Now Walter’s building me a really big gun

I’ve got two punctures, I’ve got two punctures
I’ve got two punctures on the side of my neck
My name is Seras, it’s not police girl
but my Harkonnen and I get no respect
Unnaturally strong, my cuspids long
Oh zed, my eyes are turning red!

I’m turning draculine,
I think I’m turning draculine,
I really think so
Turning draculine,
I think I’m turning draculine,
I really think so

Am I a minion? Am I a minion?
Am I a minion of the darkness of hell?

(Alucard)
No, evening walker, you’re not a minion…

(Integra)
Not until you drink of his blood as well!

(Seras)
Unnaturally strong, my cuspids long
Oh zed, my eyes are turning red!

No life, no food, sun, no silver
My bed is now a coffin, no wonder it’s dark!
Everybody here thinks I’m a total newbie
Then there’s this one French guy who’s obsessed with boobies!

I’m turning draculine,
I think I’m turning draculine,
I really think so
Turning draculine,
I think I’m turning draculine,
I really think so