Seras: Yikes!

Integra: Officer Victoria. There are fangirls on the ground. Go pick them up.

Seras: Y-yes, sir!

Schrödinger: Take this! Quick!

Ahem.

Mew?

Seras: Oh, kitty! It’s you!

And so…

Hat fan: I’m so glad I got here before my friend. She wanted to KIDNAP you my darling and make you give her fedora babies. I will never let that happen!!!! NEVER!! Oh you’re so awesome. *snuggle* you’re so much softer then I thought you’d be. I can just sit here for hours! *snuggle* Did I mention you’re so awesome! If you where human I would shower you with baked goods. You can be the object of eternal affections!

Alucard (thinking): Darnit, I liked that hat.

Alucard: The fangirl portal is closed.

Seras: Great! Hear that, kitty?

It’s safe to go back in there no!

Schrödinger: Purr…