World's second-most-popular Hellsing-related comic.
Alucard (reading): Jeeves really is a wonder. He had the guest room spiffed up for the boy almost before I decided we were keeping him. Well, ‘keeping’ isn’t the word…
Bertie: Now, you understand this is just a temporary setup, what?
Walter: Mmhmm. G’night.
Bertie (narrating): He really was cute when asleep. It’s almost enough to make a confirmed bachelor reconsider his posish. on fatherhood. Almost.
Integra: So the boy’s name is Walter…
Walter (flashback): I do not advise wearing that scarf, Sir Integra.
Young Integra: Really? I think it’s stylish.
Walter: It is audacious, sir.
Alucard: Master? Are you listening?
Integra: Hm? Yes. Just thinking some things make more sense now. Carry on.
Origin of a cute warrior! The flashback adventures of Alucard the Shoujo Drama Character
Narration: My name is Shoujocard. I’m normally an energetic girl who will always fight for the people who are precious to me. But my last master only saw me as a tool, and locked me up when I was no longer useful.
Now I wish for a strong and handsome prince to wake me up…
[splat!]
Shoujocard (thinking): Blood!
It has the taste of blood pumped by a noble heart…
Could this be…my prince?
[sparkle sparkle]
Who is this handsome boy? Find out in the next issue of Shoujo Bite!
Jeeves: Come along, Walter.
Bertie: Just a moment, Jeeves.
Has he anywhere to go?
Jeeves: No, sir. That is the usual meaning of ‘homeless’, sir.
Bertie: Well, er…I suppose there’s no need to shove him out on the street just yet, eh?
Jeeves: Just as you say, sir.
Bertie: Jeeves! Is this true?
Jeeves: I’m afraid so, sir.
This boy is homeless. He has no one to take care of him. I offered him clothing and a hot meal. I apologize for bringing him here without your permission.
I’m afraid you will have to leave now.
Walter: Aww, golly gee, Mr. Jeeves, I–
Jeeves (whispering): Don’t overdo it.
[sparkle sparkle]
Bertie: I…er…
No! The Wooster resolve will not be thwarted by a cute face. Tell me how you got in here, child!
Walter: Oh!
Mr. Jeeves let me in.
Bertie: Now see here! You can’t just invade a man’s home and start smashing up his crockery!
Walter: I never woulda broken it if you hadn’t distrac–
I mean…um…
Gosh, mister…I’m real sorry about your plate. Please don’t get mad!
Jeeves: Sir, if I may…
Bertie: Not a word, old thing! the young master will see this for himself!
Jeeves…do my eyes deceive me…
…or is there a little ruffian in my kitchen?
Jeeves: I’m afraid there is, sir.
Today’s song: “Woman to You (Master to Me).” Lyrics by the masterful Natalie Hoyt, with apologies to The Click Five.
[Alucard]
When I woke up she glared at me
And I knew that she was Abraham’s heir
Golden hair with her eyes so fierce
And a cold sort of smile that just screamed “beware”(Suddenly!)
I heard her voice when she called my name
(Suddenly!)
I’m the pet of this English dameWell she’s hotter than hell
And she’s cool as they come
And she’s smart and she’s strong
All rolled into one
Yeah you look at her now and wonder how that can be
It’s not easy to see
That she’s a woman to you
But she’s a master to meThey all know she’s a Protestant knight
Wonder how she handles it so well
But when we’re neck-deep in a fight
She’s a pillar of strength, it’s not hard to tell(Suddenly!)
I feel the blood pumpin’ through her heart
(Suddenly!)
My own thirst almost tears me apartWell she’s hotter than hell
And she’s cool as they come
And she’s smart and she’s strong
All rolled into one
Yeah you look at her now and wonder how that can be
It’s not easy to see
That she’s a woman to you
But she’s a master to meAlways knows what to do
Always knows what to say
She couldn’t be better suited to lead the way
‘Cause when the world’s a disaster
Not a freak can get past her
They try and they try but they can’t get away…!She’s a woman to you
She’s a master to me
She’s a woman to you
She’s a master to me!
Bertie: I suppose the whole rummy situation got its start the week before…
What ho, Jeeves!
Jeeves: Sir! You’re home early…
Bertie: Yes, well, bit of a fuss down at the club. Thought I’d better biff off before the constables broke it up, what?
Jeeves: Indeed, sir. I must warn you–
[CRASH!]
Bertie: I say, Jeeves, what was that?