Alucard (thinking): Oh, Master…what have you gotten yourself into?
Alucard (thinking): I do not like this forest. There are…things in it. I can sense them.
Alucard (thinking): And they’re headed towards Integra. I hate this forest.
Integra (thinking): Showtime.
Integra (thinking): There it is! There’s no mistaking it.
That took longer than I planned. I need to be quick now.
It’s almost too bad I don’t have Alexander Anderson here. He would have had this cake cut in three seconds flat.
Integra (thinking): I’m not here for the trees. Not yet.
My first priority is finding that plant…
Two hours later.
Integra (thinking): Okay, I was wrong. My first priority is finding it quickly.
Integra (thinking): If these trees could talk…
But I’m getting ahead of myself.
Haruhi: Hello, everybody! Your doujinshi-ka is busy today, so your Sunday strip will be hosted by me, Nishizono Haruhi-chan, author of the exciting new novel…
Nenene: Haruhi-san, what are you doing?
Haruhi: Ah! Sensei! I heard you were doing the strip today, so I decided to help you out!
Nenene: What kind of use do you think you have? You’re a one-joke side character in the Read Or Die TV series. You have no relevance to the plot and a flat personality.
Haruhi: Yes, but I’m simple!
Nenene: You got that right. Wait, what?
Haruhi: The plot of the show is very complicated. Like your books. It can get hard to follow. Meanwhile, I am completely predictable. It gives the viewers a break from tracking the complexities.
You can always count on me to be energetic and cheerful!
Nenene: That’s actually a fair point.
Integra: As long as I don’t have to put up with her, it’s all right.
Yumiko: Oh, but her novel is SO adorable!
The oldest tree in the world is estimated at 4,838 years.
Integra (thinking): It’s funny…
You live in an ancient mansion…you deal with undying vampires every day…
…and still you know nothing as old as some of these trees.
Alucard (thinking): Blehh…
Integra (thinking): In three miles, bear six degrees left…
Both (thinking): We’re here. Finally!
As has happened before, Alucard gets seasick when he crosses water without timing it very carefully (as he did in Dracula).
Pretend “vroom” is the sound of a helicopter taking off.
Alucard (thinking): At last…liftoff.
[VWUP VWUP VWUP VWUP]
Nothing to do now but sit for however long it takes to reach our destination. Should be an uneventful ride…
…Blehhh. Forgot we’d be crossing the English Channel.