The song is an awesome one that could fit AxI without being changed; but GameBuster89@aol.com’s AxI-specific parody is much more clever.

A reader came up with this rendition of Nickelback’s “Next Contestant” during a boring biology video. Hooray for boring videos, I say! From Alucard’s point of view, in case it isn’t immediately obvious.

I judge by how she’s glaring
Just how many heads I’m tearing
Off the freaks all trying to kill her
(Each night, seems like it’s getting worse)

I wish she’d take her tie off
So I can try to suck out
Every drop of Hellsing blood in her
(I dream it every night she works)

Freaks come and point their small guns
It’s time that I had some fun
Tearing up freaks coming after her
(Don’t they know it’s never gonna work)

They think they’ll get to kill her
With every ghoul they send her
As they all try coming after her
(This time somebody’s getting hurt)
Here comes the next contestant

Is that! Your hand! On my! Master! Is that your ha-aaaa~and?
I wish you’d do it again
(I’ll watch you leave here in dust)
I wish you’d do it again
(I’ll watch you leave here in dust)
There goes the next contestant

I even fight the humans
They’re weak but twice as loony
Just as bad for trying to kill her
(Don’t they know it’s never gonna work)

Each time she bats an eyelash
A freak I’m tempted to blast
Everyone keeps trying to kill her
(This time somebody’s getting hurt)
Here comes the next contestant

Is that! Your hand! On my! Master! Is that your ha-aaaa~and?
I wish you’d do it again
(I’ll watch you leave here in dust)
I wish you’d do it again
(I’ll watch you leave here in dust)
There goes the next contestant

I’lm loving what she commands
My Jackal sits in my hand
Can’t wait til they get what they deserve
(This time somebody’s getting hurt)
There goes the next contestant