Jan: Just a bleepin’ minute. If you’re not that Hellsing bleep, then who the bleep are you?

Fan 1: Integra’s so collected, I wish I could be as calm as Integra all the time,

Fan 2: she’s independant which sets a great example for other women. She’s fearless and uber-smart. Usually,

Fan 3: and the body of a godess… ice blue eyes

Fan 4: My schoolmates think I am insane but that doesn’t matter either.

Shoulder devil: Have you ever seen a cartoon in which a character, confonted with a moral quandary, is advised by an angelic figure of herself on one shoulder, and a demonic self on the other? It’s not far from the truth.

I am Sir Integral Wingates Hellsing’s advice-dispensing shoulder devil.

Shoulder angel: Stop trying to one-up Alucard every chance you get. Be friendly to him for once! People appreciate that, even if they don’t show it — so be kind for the sake of being kind…

Shoulder devil: Jump his bones. You know you want to.