I wrote this joke a long time ago, and it’s been waiting for Pip’s introduction ever since.

[rummage rummage]

Seras: Captain? What are you doing?

Pip: Raidin’ th’ cupboard. What’s it look like?

Seras: You can’t do that! This isn’t your house!

Pip: So take it outa my pay. We need breakfast down at the barracks. An’ nobody feels like cookin’.

Pip: Besides, why do you care? You don’t eat.

Seras: Sir Integral and Walter do!

Pip: Can you imagine Sir Integra eatin’ this?

Seras: Maybe it’s Walter’s.

Pip: Walter’s a nice guy. ‘E won’ mind.

Seras: Are you drunk?

Pip: Jus’ a lil’ hung over. C’mon, take pity on me an’ us poor hungry Wild Geese.

Seras: Pity? It’s your own fault!

Seras: Give it back-!

Pip: Whoa, there!

Pip: Help! She’s after me Lucky Charms!

Integra (thinking): I don’t want to know. I don’t want to know….