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Desert Island Storyline 28/34

Desert Island Storyline 28/34 published on No Comments on Desert Island Storyline 28/34

Enrico: In other words… go ahead and call your sacrilegious pet.

Integra: Now really, Maxwell…

[Thwok thwok thwok thwok thwok thwok thwok]

Integra: … did you actually think I was waiting for your permission?

Enrico: That’s a helicopter!

Integra: With my “sacrilegious pet” on board.

I Recognize You

I Recognize You published on No Comments on I Recognize You

Congratulations to Oniisan (yes, a girl) for being the first and only one to recognize the character in this strip.

Thien: You know, it isn’t easy being a minor anime character.

Oh sure, some of us make it to the big leagues – maybe even title character roles. But those are the exceptions, not the rule.

Most of us just take bit part after bit part, playing cannon fodder or roles too small for dialogue. Our careers going only downwards.

But it isn’t until you end up doing panel time in an online doujinshi that you realize all hope f you ever being recognized is gone!

Oniisan: I recognize you.

Thien: You do?

Oniisan: Yeah! I saw you in this doujinshi. In Cigar Break. You were in Order 07: Duel. You interrupted Walter with a file ’bout Anderson and his badness, yup yup!

Thien: Thank you! [SOB] You’ve given my life meaning!

Oniisan: Ooh! Do I get a cookie?

Erin: Yup. And a cameo in the doujinshi, too.

Oniisan: Awesome!

Desert Island Storyline 27/34

Desert Island Storyline 27/34 published on No Comments on Desert Island Storyline 27/34

Enrico: I… you…

Integra (thinking): I’d say something like, “Who’s walking away now?”– but it’d probably make him come back. All right, let’s see what the rest of this island is like.

An hour or two later:

Integra (thinking): Back at the fire and the boat. The island’s larger than I thought, but no less empty.

Integra: What’s th–

Headset: I’m part of the problem, I confess / but I’ve gotta get this off my chest / Let’s extinguish the anguish for which we’re to blame / and save the world from going down in flames

Desert Island Storyline 26/34

Desert Island Storyline 26/34 published on No Comments on Desert Island Storyline 26/34

Those shields in the background represent the twelve apostles (including the one who was added after they kicked Judas out). Sometimes a blank shield is included with the twelve to represent Judas.

Enrico: All right, your reasoning is different from ours. But that doesn’t make ours wrong.

Don’t forget that it is Iscariot, not Hellsing, that uses the word of God to back up its authority.

Do you know why we use the name of Judas Iscariot? It is because we will kill anyone for the doctrine — including the founder. All of our judgment is in the name of that holy doctrine.

Integra: This is the same doctrine that includes Matthew 7:1, “Do not judge,” right?

Enrico: Hey, Hellsing judges too!

Integra: Yes, but we don’t justify it with the doctrine.

Desert Island Storyline 25/34

Desert Island Storyline 25/34 published on No Comments on Desert Island Storyline 25/34

Enrico: Look, not only are you a heretic… you’re a hypocrite! Your Hellsing Organization kills vampires for the same reason that Iscariot does–

Integra: No, Maxwell, it doesn’t. You kill monsters because you think that you have a god-given mandate to do so. Hellsing kills monsters to protect God’s people.

Enrico: It’s the same thing.

Integra: Most of the time, yes. But when a vampire is not harming any humans, we have no reason to kill it. We judge them by what they do. You judge them by what they are.

Desert Island Storyline 24/34

Desert Island Storyline 24/34 published on No Comments on Desert Island Storyline 24/34

Enrico: Look, can’t you accept it when somebody’s trying to be nice?

Integra: The last time that you did anything ‘nice’ for me, you had your paladin killing my men behind my back. Why should I trust you?

Enrico: Well, for one thing, at the moment it’s to my advantage to help you… from a Machiavellian standpoint alone, we should trust each other. Besides, don’t you think people can better themselves?

Integra: Do you still think I’m a heretic for using vampires?

Enrico: Well– yes–

Integra: Then you haven’t changed.

Desert Island Storyline 23/34

Desert Island Storyline 23/34 published on No Comments on Desert Island Storyline 23/34

Integra: Again, your common sense is overruled by your need to show off. Is this a Catholic failing, or a male one?

Enrico: Insulting my gender and religion in one shot? You’re slipping, Integra. It could very well be a Roman failing. Or perhaps it’s a perception failing. Your perception. I was, after all, trying to be nice.

Integra: I’m going for a walk.

Enrico: Hey! You can’t just walk away from me that easily!

Integra: Watch me.

Desert Island Storyline: Backstage

Desert Island Storyline: Backstage published on No Comments on Desert Island Storyline: Backstage

Cameo: Randy “Ryo” Maclean, from FAKE.

Integra: So how many times did you doze off?

Enrico: Only once! … okay, twice. You looked so tired, I thought I should let you sleep.

Erin: CUT!! Beautiful. Print it. Okay guys, that’s enough for today. Let’s get you cleaned up.

[Random stagehand– or is he? Bonus points if you know what manga he’s from.]

Integra: The “haven’t-showered-for-a-few-days” look is a hassle to keep up.

Enrico: Agreed. By the way… hey, director?

Erin: Yes?

Enrico: I’m just a bit worried about the direction this storyline is going… I mean, it seems like a lot of the jokes revolve around Integra making me look like an idiot. Is the point to expand my relationship with Integra, or get a bunch of cheap laughs at my expense? …

Integra: Cheap laughs.

Enrico: I knew it.

Erin: It’s sad but true. Mousse?

Desert Island Storyline 22/34

Desert Island Storyline 22/34 published on No Comments on Desert Island Storyline 22/34

Integra (thinking): Ugh… note to self: sand is uncomfortable to sleep on.

Enrico: Good morning!

Integra: Morning? Were you up all night?

Enrico: Er… did you think you were the only one with amazing ability to stay awake?

Integra: Oh, I see.

So how many times did you doze off?

Enrico: Only once! … okay, twice. You looked so tired, I thought I should let you sleep.

Desert Island Storyline 21/34

Desert Island Storyline 21/34 published on No Comments on Desert Island Storyline 21/34

Alucard: Your point is made, Master. I will lead Captain Bernadotte to you; we will retrieve both you and Maxwell; his safety is assured. This dream will end now, and when you wake up, you should feel quite refreshed.

Integra: One more thing…

Alucard: Hm?

Integra: It was.

Alucard? Was what?

Integra: Good… to see you again…

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