World's second-most-popular Hellsing-related comic.
I also considered naming the siblings Jessie and James, but that would’ve been a bit of a giveaway.
Victim: *squeak* I–I’m getting out of here!
Diane: Did you really think we’d let you leave?
James: Careful, sis — Hellsing brought her pet vampire with her.
Alucard (thinking): “Pet?”
Alucard: Don’t you see it yet?
I’m already dead.
Integra (thinking): You’d think a family of this station would have quality furniture…
[no longer glass #1]
By complete coincidence, this was uploaded two days after Robert Palmer’s death. Consider it an accidental memorial.
– We’re on in five! Cue the lights!
– HELP!– 2…1…action!
– Welcome to the first edition of HellSING!– Today’s caraoke will be a parody of Robert Palmer’s “Addicted to Love.”
You’re down there in
Your basement room
Your mind
Is not your own
Your heart sweats
Your body shakes
One more step
You have to takeYou can’t sleep
You can’t eat
There’s no doubt
You’re in deep
You need blood
To survive
It’s set out
There on the iceWhoa, you try denying you’re attuned to the stuff, oh yeah
It’s closer to the truth to say you
Can’t have enough, you know
You’re gonna have to face it, vampires have to drink bloodMight as well face it, vampires have to drink blood!
Might as well face it, vampires have to drink blood!
Might as well face it, vampires have to drink blood!
Might as well face it, vampires have to drink blood!The signs are there
But you won’t read
Your master tries
To make you see
Your heartbeat
Will soon fade
Without blood
You’ll waste away, true to say
You can’t be saved
Oblivion
Waits in your grave
A bowl’s set
Out for you
You know
What you should doWhoa, you try denying you’re attuned to the stuff, oh yeah
It’s closer to the truth to say you
Can’t have enough, you know
You’re gonna have to face it, vampires have to drink bloodJust drink the blood
You know you must
Serve your
New bloodlust
Your heart sweats
Your teeth grind
Just one sip
And you’ll be fine!– Perfect! Cut – PRINT!
I feel sorry for the Random Extra. She’s basically cannon fodder.
James: Ah…Integra’s date. The creepy bloke. Sorry, old chap, but I’m afraid you’ve seen a bit too much.
Don’t suppose Sir Hellsing expected to have a dead escort at the end of the night, eh?
Alucard: Oh, I rather think she did.
Alucard: I wouldn’t do that if I were you.
James: ‘Ere now, who’re you?
Integra: I only want one glass, not a whole bottle…
Staff: I insist, madam. You may return it later if you still feel the same.
Integra: I’ll be taking it out to the terrace.
Staff: Not a problem.
Please say you can tell those teeth are pointy, even at reduced size…
Outside:
*giggle*
Inside:
Integra (thinking): I can’t shake this feeling of uneasiness…Perhaps I’ll have some champagne after all, just to calm my nerves…
Alucard: You know, despite her differences, Belle fell in lovve and lived happily ever after, the way all fairy tales go.
Integra: I know.
This isn’t a fairy tale.
Alucard: I know.
Alucard: It’s obvious why Beauty and the Beast was your favorite fairy tale.
Integra: [suspicious]
Alucard: You were never the average fairy tale girl, content to sleep in a glass case or wait in the enchanted castle for a prince to come rescue you. Belle went out into the world, took her father’s place, and built her own destiny.
Integra: You’re saying I identify with her.
Alucard: Yes.
Integra: You requested that this song be played.
Alucard: Yes.
The Fangirls Take Over
– Hi everybody! Remember us? We’re the fangirls (and fanboy) from way back in the first storyline!
– If you’re still reading this, you’re probably a Hellsing fangirl/boy yourself! If not, you should be!
– Come…join us…don’t be afraid…
– Unfortunately, there are no plans for us to show u pin the current storyline, or the next one, or…
– …for a long time! (Ooh, Integra looks good in the Halloween special…)
– You get the idea. So, we’re taking over the Sundays!
– What are we going to DO?!
– (Hmm…)
– Karaoke!
– We’re out of space in this comic, but…
– …next week!
– And we shall call it, “HellSING!”
– That’s a baaaad pun. Even for us.
Integra: What about Seras? She’s nineteen.
Alucard: She will be nineteen, and much more than nineteen, for the rest of eternity.
Integra: That’s not what–
Lyrics: (Finding you can change)
Integra (thinking): “Change…”