Ingmar Bergman called a kiss “a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.” It’s a trick, all right; it just has far more uses than he probably had in mind.

A Lovely Trick 1/31

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Most of this storyline comes from an AIM conversation with the same Pip Bernadette who inspired the opening conversation here. Integra: It’s such a lovely, peaceful morning… [SLAM] Pip: Yo, boss! What’s up? Integra: Well, it was.

A Lovely Trick 3/31

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Pip: So, what’s on the agenda for today? Or do I actually get a day off? Integra: Today’s agenda features a little-known phenomenon called peace and quiet. Pip: Psh, pastime of those with no lives. Integra: And a rare pleasure for those of us who actually work.

A Lovely Trick 4/31

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A lot of readers hated the OVA-style glasses, so I had them, er, taken care of. Pip: Say, did you get new glasses? They look nice. Integra: No; these are an old pair. My newer glasses, the wire-rimmed pair, were destroyed…in a little incident involving a tank and, I suspect, no small amount of liquor.… Continue reading A Lovely Trick 4/31

A Lovely Trick 7/31

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Note from The Future: Why did I leave that in. Whyyyy. Pip: I’d love to bother the police girl, but it’s after sunrise. She’s asleep. Now, if she were out doing a drill, it would be different. Sure is fun to watch ’em bounce when she runs… Integra: So long as your “fun” doesn’t stop… Continue reading A Lovely Trick 7/31

A Lovely Trick 8/31

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Note from The Future: The Somali government really did collapse in 1991, and stayed that way until 2006. Pip: Two years ago, the Wild Geese were hired by a wealthy Somali politician. I use the word “politician” loosely. Somalia is, for all intents and purposes, anarchy. Our employer knew this. He also knew there was… Continue reading A Lovely Trick 8/31

A Lovely Trick 9/31

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Integra: All pats exploits aside, Captain, your work with Hellsing has always been accompanied by Victoria. Thus, it is impossible to judge her effect. And stop dropping ash on my paperwork. Pip: Ooh, sorry ’bout that. [whoosh] …Oops. Integra: Very smooth, Captain, Very suave.

A Lovely Trick 10/31

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Integra: With moves like that, I’m surprised Victoria hasn’t already fallen into your arms. Pip: I know! I’m a perfect gentleman! Integra: *sigh* I’m sure. Pip: She just doesn’t know what she’s missing. Integra: Kindly do not elaborate.