Pip Bernadotte was just, in his own way, flirting with Seras Victoria. Unfortunately, she doesn’t see it that way. After a conversation with Sir Integral in which he’s informed that he’s been reported for sexual harassment, Pip decides to try a new tactic.
Much of the dialog in the following scene comes from an AIM conversation with the appropriately usernamed Pip Bernadette. Note from The Future: I have so much retroactive *facepalm* at most of this storyline. And not just the lines I didn’t write, either. Pip gets better later, honest. Pip: Hey, boss! So how do I… Continue reading Oopsy, Rosie 1/24
Pip: Boss, you gotta understand — I don’t harass Seras! I just…”prepare” her for certain situations. Integra: I highly doubt that Officer Victoria will be sexually harassed in the field… …by someone whom she cannot just shoot in response. Pip: Well, when you put it that way.
Pip: But it could happen, boss…I’ve seen weirder things on the battlefield. Integra: Considering how likely it is, you’ve “prepared” her quite enough. Now you need to focus on your actual duties. Pip: Oh, come on… How do you expect me to concentrate when my vision is blocked by miniature replicas of the Pyrenees? [choke]
Pip: You okay, boss? Integra: [koff] Captain — [koff] that is [koff] unacceptable. You must be disciplined enough to ignore such distractions — no matter how appealing! Pip: Ah…I see it now. Your “appealing distraction” is Big Red, isn’t it?
Integra: This is entirely out of line. Pip: Right, boss. So…how is a vampire in bed, anyway? Inquiring minds want to know! Integra: Vampires don’t have beds. They sleep in coffins. Although if one loosely defines “bed” as something that is slept in, then…wait. That was a double entendre, wasn’t it. Pip: We’ll corrupt you… Continue reading Oopsy, Rosie 5/24
Erin: New information comes out, new things happen, and eventually some of the answers I gave you are no longer accurate — or I actually have answers now, about things that just weren’t known before. So this Doujinshi-Ka’s Inbox will just correct or expand upon things that earlier ones said. On November 7, 2004, I… Continue reading Doujinshi-Ka’s Inbox: Corrections
Pip: Aw, come on, boss…spill. We’re the only ones here. It isn’t like I’m gonna go telling the troops all about your personal life. Integra: You assume that I have a personal life. Pip: Gimme some credit, here. I know you and Big Red have a very…personal relationship. Just tell me…can he make it bigger?… Continue reading Oopsy, Rosie 6/24
Integra: I don’t want to know why you want this information. Though I suspect it has something to do with Officer Victoria. Pip: Not really…I just wanna make sure her boobs won’t eat me. Integra: She has not yet manifested any shapechanging abilities, so in terms of getting close to Officer Victoria, that may be… Continue reading Oopsy, Rosie 7/24
Pip: So you do slapping too? That’s encouraging. I wonder if she’s into bondage… Integra: Somehow, I doubt it. Seras Victoria’s psychological profile is strikingly normal. Except, of course, the fondness for blood. Pip: Okay…bloodletting, that’s a start…and my braid doubles as a whip…
The aptly nicknamed Bondagecard. Integra: Captain… Pip: It seems like a vampire thing. Haven’t you and Alucard ever done anything like… Integra: This conversation is over. Pip: Whoa. Did I touch a nerve? Integra: Out.