The big day is on Saturday, but pretend it’s Valentine’s Day all this week; because someone sent Integral chocolate, and it’s going to take that long to explain who (and why).

Valentine’s Week 1/6

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Integra: Where did all this paperwork come from? Integra (thinking): That’s the problem with doing everything yourself…you turn your back for a few days to deal with a surplus of freaks, and when you get back your desk is in this state. Wait, what’s this? A heart-shaped box of chocolate? With a note? “For Integra,… Continue reading Valentine’s Week 1/6

Valentine’s Week 2/6

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Integra (thinking): Better get an analysis of this… Seras: Master? Alucard: Shhh! Alucard (telepathy): Keep quiet, Police Girl! You can look, but don’t say a thing. Seras (thinking): Sir Integra has chocolate? Who gave her that? Alucard (telepathy): Me. Seras (thinking): Master! You didn’t… Integr: …full chemical analysis by tonight. Seras (thinking): You’re up to… Continue reading Valentine’s Week 2/6

Valentine’s Week 3/6

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Seras (thinking): So what are you planning? Alucard (telepathy): The chocolates are laced with a sedative. A small amount, and they won’t harm our Master in the long run. But in the short run, as soon as they take effect…well, let’s just say she’ll be more likely to grant certain…requests. Seras (thinking): Don’t look now,… Continue reading Valentine’s Week 3/6

Valentine’s Week 4/6

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That night: Integra: It was Valentine’s Day today, you know. Alucard: Nice moon for it. Integra: Indeed. Alucard (thinking): She seems distracted. Good. Alucard: The kind of moon that makes me want to go hunting. Integra: Mm. Alucard: Master…Sir Hellsing…Integra… May I go…hunting…tonight?

Valentine’s Week 5/6

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Walter: Ah, Sir Integra, there you are! We just got the chemical analysis on those chocolates. Integra: Results? Walter: The good news is, they weren’t lethal. The bad news is, they had traces of a drug called flunitrazepam. It’s a benzodiazepine. Doctors sometimes prescribe it as a sedative or tranquilizer. Under its influence you could… Continue reading Valentine’s Week 5/6

Valentine’s Week 6/6

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Integra: Try to drug ME, will you? Get back here and face the consequences! Seras: Should we tell her about the thirteen yellow roses shipped here from the Vatican? Walter: Let’s wait for her to finish chasing Alucard first. Seras: Happy Valentine’s Day, by the way. Walter: Likewise, Miss Police Girl.