Sun, sea, and serious relaxation: the essence of a Caribbean cruise. For Integral, the serious relaxation is aided by the fact that no vampire would want a week of sun and sea. Unfortunately, she didn’t count on a certain human passenger.
One quiet night, somewhere on the outskirts of London, in an old and stately mansion… …in a deep, dark room, within a four-poster coffin containing a fledgling child of the night… …a decision is made. Seras (thinking): Sir Integra could really use a vacation.
Accomplices are enlisted… Walter: This is one of those “that’s so crazy that it just might work” ideas, isn’t it? Strategies are devised… Seras: One week, or two? Walter: Better make it one. I don’t think I could hold Integra’s job longer than that. …and the plan is executed. Walter: Sir Integra, we’ve been thinking…
Integra: No, Walter. Absolutely not. You do remember what happened the last time you and Seras convinced me to do something “relaxing”? Walter: Well, the party turned out to have undead hosts. Integra (thinking): And he doesn’t even know about the incident with the champagne… Integra: And the time before that? It would’ve been before… Continue reading Vacation, All I Ever Wanted 3/26
A quarter of an hour later… Integra: Can you think of any other times? Walter: Just one. You were eight years old. They never did rebuild that amusement park. But this time will be different. I promise — we’ve worked out a few precautions to make sure that no vampires will disturb you this time.… Continue reading Vacation, All I Ever Wanted 4/26
Integra: I assume you’ve already made arrangements? Walter: Yes. You’re booked for a week on the cruise ship Demeter. Integra: Not the Demeter that Count Dracula traveled on, I hope? Walter: Of course not — I checked. It just happens to have the same name. There’s absolutely nothing to be worried about! [KRAK-BOOM] Walter: …I’m… Continue reading Vacation, All I Ever Wanted 5/26
Now that we have the preliminary setup for this storyline, let’s skip the swimsuit-shopping trip, because I’m still all out of shopping jokes. Integra: Who could fit into a suit this small? Seras: Maybe it’s a misplaced headband. Let’s also skip the disembarking of the Demeter, because it isn’t particularly eventful or interesting. Seras: Do… Continue reading Vacation, All I Ever Wanted 6/26
Cameo: Aino Minako. Background includes Kaiou Michiru and Kino Makoto. Integra (thinking): This is actually quite a nice place…the sun, the sea, the wind…I think I’ll lie down on one of those chairs and just relax for a while… Passenger: Hey there, handsome. I couldn’t help noticing your great tan… Integra: Eighty-two. Passenger: Excuse me?… Continue reading Vacation, All I Ever Wanted 7/26
Cameo: Kaiou Michiru. Integra: …Just put it on my account. Woman: There’s room at my table, if you’re…interested. Integra: I hate to disappoint you, but I’m female. Woman: Oh, that’s not a disappointment. Integra: Well, how about the fact that I’m straight? Woman: That is. Too bad… tall blonde crossdressers are my type.
I can’t take credit for Enrico’s “I ♥ Jesus” swimsuit; it was inspired by a piece of fanart by Croaky. Enrico Maxwell: Hey there, beautiful! Enjoying your cruise? Integra (thinking): Well, at least this one’s male…and he has my gender right… Enrico: I’d compliment you on your tan, but I’ve seen you at Christmas so… Continue reading Vacation, All I Ever Wanted 9/26
Integra: What are you doing here? Enrico: Some of my subordinates decided I needed a break a booked me a cruise. How about you? Integra: Similar story. Both (thinking): So I’m on the same boat with you, in more ways than one. What an unfortunate coincidence. Enrico (thinking): Well, maybe it’s not so bad. After… Continue reading Vacation, All I Ever Wanted 10/26