Every Brit Down in London Liked Christmas a lot…
But the Grinch, Who lived just north of London Did NOT! The Grinch hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season! Now, please don’t ask why. No one quite knows the reason. It could be, perhaps, that her scarf was too tight. It could be the fact that she stayed up all night. But I think that… Continue reading How the Grinch Canceled Christmas 2/27
But whether her heart Or her scarf was to blame, She stood there on Christmas Eve, Mad just the same. For she knew every man in the barracks below Was neglecting his training to play in the snow.
“They want time off tomorrow!” she snarled with a sneer. “As if for a day, vampires all disappear! I’m a Christian devout; I know that much is true. A mission from God is the work that I do. And I do respect Christmas – to not would be crazy. But they won’t use it as… Continue reading How the Grinch Canceled Christmas 4/27
… All the soldiers off duty Would wake up to children all screaming for booty. Or meet with their girlfriends, spend time with their wives, and just chiefly proceed with civilian lives. “They’ll heap them with presents, they’ll have Christmas dinner. They won’t exercise, so they sure won’t get thinner!”
And THEN came the thought that she liked least of all! While her soldiers were shirking, the tall and the small, Any vampire who wanted could bite any neck! With no one to stop them, they’d rampage unchecked!
They’d drink! And they’d drink! And they’d DRINK! DRINK! DRINK! DRINK! And the more the Grinch thought of this vampire drink, the more the Grinch thought: “I must stop this whole thing! Why, for twenty-three years I’ve put up with it now. I must make this Christmas a safe one! … But HOW?”
Then she got an idea! An awful idea! THE GRINCH GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
“I know just what to do!” the Grinch laughed to herself. “All these Christmas ideas I’ll toss on the shelf. Love and Family Time are important, it’s so, But there’ll be time to play with the kids in the snow. They can be with their girls any time of the year. But come Christmas Day,… Continue reading How the Grinch Canceled Christmas 9/27
“All I need is a messenger…” The Grinch looked around, But since messengers get shot, there were few to be found Did that stop the old Grinch? No! She had one on hand. He’s Walter, the all-’round best guy in the land!