The Hellsing Organization faces its most frightening challenge yet. They’re small, they’re human-shaped, they latch on to characters and then rant obsessively about how cool those characters are. They can only be – fangirls! Now, how do we get them off?
Top: Original strip from 2003. Bottom: Sample redraw from the strip’s 8th anniversary, in 2011. Integra: (hmm hmm hmm) Fangirl: EEEEEEEEE!!! Integra: ? [WHAP] Fangirl: Integra’s so cool and Integra’s so nifty and she has a cool scarf and she has the best hair because Integra’s bangs do that cool pointy thing and Integra’s a… Continue reading When Fangirls Attack 1/25
Guess who wasn’t comfortable with drawing Alucard’s face yet when this strip was sketched? Integra (thinking): What is this thing? And why won’t it come off? Fangirl: Integra’s always in control and Integra’s so smart and clever and she always knows just what to do when a crisis hits Integra: ALUCARD! Fangirl: and Integra keeps… Continue reading When Fangirls Attack 2/25
Note from The Future of 2017: As I type up most of these transcripts from scratch, I’ll be spelling it “Alucard” in the text. (And fixing typos when I catch them.) Alucard: It’s a “fangirl.”They’re from another plane of existence; they attach themselves to people from our plane. When they can get to it, that… Continue reading When Fangirls Attack 3/25
As in the manga, Seras has a gift for walking in at the moment of maximum humor. Alucard: It would seem that the fangirls are entering our world via a portal somewhere in this room. Integra: Nice to know. Now get up. Alucard: Oof. Integra: Ouch! You’re hurting me! Alucard: My deepest apologies. Integra: Just… Continue reading When Fangirls Attack 4/25
Alucard and Integra explain the situation to Seras — hastily. Alucard: Which is why, as soon as we got up, we were going to find Walter and look up all known data on fangirls, so that we can work out how to remove them. Seras: So let me see if I understand this… Seras: These… Continue reading When Fangirls Attack 5/25
Top: Original strip from 2003. Bottom: Sample redraw from the strip’s 8th anniversary, in 2011. Seras: I don’t really see why you’re so eager to get rid of these fangirls… Seras: I mean, it’s not as if they’re…I don’t know…affecting our behavior or anything… Alucard/Integra (thinking): What just happened to me? Seras: Mine’s even kind… Continue reading When Fangirls Attack 6/25
Seras: Anyways, I’ll just go fetch Walter then… Integra: You do that, Seras. Hurry back. Integra: We will NOT tell Seras or Walter what we just… Alucard: Agreed. Integra: I don’t know what– Alucard: I do. It was the fangirls — they can affect behavior. Fangirl: Kiss her again! Alucard: Shut up. Fangirl #2: Kiss… Continue reading When Fangirls Attack 7/25
Alucard: Do you suppose a fangirl will come attach itself to Walter? Integra: Good question. Walter: Good evening, Sir Integra, Alucard… [WHUMP] Fanboy: Walter is the coolest character and Walter has the most ultimately cool weapon and Walter is like invincible and all must be in awe of Walter! Fangirl: It’s the fanboy!
The database is represented by real Hellsing fansites: the still-beautiful Solid&Etc, and the now-defunct Hellsing.nu. Walter: Fangirl removal doesn’t seem likely. Most recorded cases have stayed on their obsession despite all removal attempts — until that person’s death. Walter: Fanboys are rare; there are hardly any records of them. This one must be quite unique.… Continue reading When Fangirls Attack 9/25
Walter: Fangirls are unkillable by any normal method — for humans or vampires. And no action you take will induce them to cease their obsession for you because, being taken by you, it will be seen as good. The only way they’ve ever been removed is by getting so overjoyed with their obsession’s actions that… Continue reading When Fangirls Attack 10/25