Poor Stephen is so much less powerful than Iscariot thinks he is. The Vatican is thinking “expertly guarded vampire stronghold with hordes of loyal mesmerized followers”, when in fact Stephen barely knows how to use his powers, and his only defense is Jon plus basic-cable security. [BANG BANG] Stephen: I’m not here! Sister Kim: Funny…that’s… Continue reading Chapter 1 Page 07
Reference to Jon coming to Stephen’s defense during the Conan feud. Jon: Stephen Colbert, don’t you do it, boy!!
Stephen: HISSSS… Stephen: …Jon? Jon: Let her go, Stephen. Stephen: Are you crazy? She tried to kill me! Jon: Stephen, she’s a nun! Stephen: Yes, Jon. She’s with the Vatican’s Section XIII. I told you about them! See that dagger in front of you? Jon: Is that — stuck in the floor? Stephen: Not only… Continue reading Chapter 1 Page 10
Other trinkets in that drawer include the things Stephen eagerly prepared for Papa Bear’s visit in the 200th episode (January 17, 2007). Jon: There, see? It’s gone. Is that better? Stephen: What do you mean, “better”? Once ninja-nun-girl wakes up and gets out of here, I’m done for! Unless you want to keep her tied… Continue reading Chapter 1 Page 11
Yeah, I know the bandages aren’t obeying any known laws of physics. Heinkel, like Anderson, is fourth-dimensional. Heinkel: Stand aside, human. You don’t want to ruin your nice suit. Stephen: JON!! Jon: H-hey! Listen, sir…uh, ma’am?…it’s not what you think! Don’t shoot! Can’t we talk about this? Heinkel: …I see. You’re under his thrall. DOn’t… Continue reading Chapter 1 Page 12
Heinkel: Shut up, Sister Kim. You were told not to go running in before– Kim: It’s a code I.F.H., boss. Heinkel: You’re sure? Kim: Positive. Jon: …Is that good? Heinkel: … Jon: WHOA! Not good! Not good! Heinkel: Vampire. You untie Sister Kim and allow her to restrain you, and this man lives, Understood?
[BANG BANG BANG] Iscariot agent: Monster!! [BANG] [SWISH] [CRASH]
The Vatican. Maccabee: Thank you for your report, Kim and Heinkel. I think we can let the matter rest for now. Heinkel: Due respect, Father Maccabee…why? Maccabee: Somehow, Heinkel, even when you call me “Father”… …you make it sound like “kid.” As for Colbert — have you ever seen his file? There’s a reason he… Continue reading Chapter 7 Page 04
I’m thinking God’s first sign of disapproval would be undoing whatever miracle is holding Heinkel’s bandages in place. Maccabee: In the meantime, it really does seem as though all he wants to do is host this TV show of his. If Hellsing is willing to take on the burden of his upkeep, there won’t be… Continue reading Chapter 7 Page 05