Alucard: Do you suppose a fangirl will come attach itself to Walter? Integra: Good question. Walter: Good evening, Sir Integra, Alucard… [WHUMP] Fanboy: Walter is the coolest character and Walter has the most ultimately cool weapon and Walter is like invincible and all must be in awe of Walter! Fangirl: It’s the fanboy!
The database is represented by real Hellsing fansites: the still-beautiful Solid&Etc, and the now-defunct Hellsing.nu. Walter: Fangirl removal doesn’t seem likely. Most recorded cases have stayed on their obsession despite all removal attempts — until that person’s death. Walter: Fanboys are rare; there are hardly any records of them. This one must be quite unique.… Continue reading When Fangirls Attack 9/25
Walter: Fangirls are unkillable by any normal method — for humans or vampires. And no action you take will induce them to cease their obsession for you because, being taken by you, it will be seen as good. The only way they’ve ever been removed is by getting so overjoyed with their obsession’s actions that… Continue reading When Fangirls Attack 10/25
Top: Original strip from 2003. Bottom: Sample redraw from the strip’s 8th anniversary, in 2011. Integra: How can we find out what will make a fangirl happy? Fangirl: Check our websites! All: … Integra: Fangirls have websites? Fangirl: Of course! How do you think we meet each other?
Those particular fan-run sites (both gone now) are the Eleventh Hour, and Smoke and Blood. Walter: According to this fangirl’s website, flashback scenes are immensely enjoyable. Arthur (flashback): Tell me, Integra, what creature is feared above all others? Young Integra: The fangirl1 Arthur: I meant besides that, obviously. Young Integra: Oh. Then it’s the vampire.… Continue reading When Fangirls Attack 12/25
The quote is directly from Metamorphosis, formerly at Hellsing.nu. Walter: I just can’t decipher some of these sites. Look at this quote, from a Seras fangirl’s website: “I suppose Alucard’s feelings could be stretched out into something romantic, but he seems much more distracted by Integral.” What do you suppose that means? Walter: …Alucard? Seras:… Continue reading When Fangirls Attack 13/25
In the last panel, that’s the Alucard fangirl talking, not Alucard himself. (Fangirls can appreciate characters other than their own particular obsession. Just not as much.) Walter: Might we return to the topic at hand?…A number of fangirl sites express enjoyment at something code-named “Order 09: Red Rose Vertigo.” Integra: What’s that? Walter: A video… Continue reading When Fangirls Attack 15/25
Alucard in color; a better Helena. One of my better Alucard profiles, as it was drawn directly from the anime… Helena here, on the other hand, was totally from memory -_-;
Walter: I believe we’ve found our answer…Fangirls of everything to do with Hellsing are fascinated by the “Alucard/Integra dynamic.” The Master/servant relationship, the pride that each has in their race, the clash of strong personalities… Walter: Fangirls adore these tensions, but can get overwrought by them and “spaz out” — especially by what they perceive… Continue reading When Fangirls Attack 16/25
Walter: The point is, if tensions ran high enough, it could be sufficient to overwork every fangirl and fanboy in this room. Our little infestation problem would be solved. Alucard: Is that what you want, Master? Integra: Of course it is. But… *gasp*