Marian (thinking): That voice…He said “Hellsing”! Where is he? Voice: Yes, Sir Hellsing’s birthday is coming up soon. And I sort of got roped into arranging the entertainment, on pain of death. Marian (thinking): He’s got to be right on the other side of this wall! Voice: Yeah, funny thing is, I’m actually not joking…
Marian (thinking): It must be some sort of store. He’s haggling a price with the manager… Voice: Whaddaya mean, the price doubles? I’m not asking for anything complicated! Manager: No, pal, but the girls hate jumping out of cakes. Voice: I don’t have that much money! Can we skip the bodyguard? Manager: If this is… Continue reading Birthday Bash 32/85
Pip: Great. Juuust great. How does Walter expect me to hire good entertainment on the budget he gave me? Even though I know she and the dusty old knights she’s invited have the same tastes, I can’t afford one single… Marian: Excuse me? Pip: Yeah? Marian: I heard you’re looking for a girl to jump… Continue reading Birthday Bash 33/85
Integra (thinking): I didn’t realize we had ordered the baked equivalent of Seras’ breasts. And why is it moving…? Marian: TA-DA! Integra (thinking): Someone is going to die from this.
The thwarted fangirl storyline has fangirl trouble after all. Marian: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! It’s Sir Integra! She’s just like Laura said! All fierce and tough and… Oh, right, I almost forgot! All you ugly old guys, be hypnotized now, got it? And she’s so regal and she’s so elegant and she’s so hot and she’s so noble… Continue reading Birthday Bash 57/85
Marian: This was almost too easy! A little mesmerization and I’ve got all of you beat! Integra: You think that’s it? You really are so simple that you think a parlor trick like this means that you’ve won? You’re pathetic. Marian: And you’re totally awesome, but which one of us can move?
Marian: This is so weird, though…Laura said you had some superpowered nosferatu working for you! Integra: The Hellsing organization employs soldiers. Talented, efficient, human soldiers. Integra (thinking): So “Laura” is the brains here… Integra: But I wouldn’t waste their time on a sad she-freak like you. Marian: Ooh, you get mean under pressure! You’re not… Continue reading Birthday Bash 63/85
Integra: Of course I’m not scared. You are nothing but a spoiled, silly child. And you will be dealt with as such. Islands (thinking): Doesn’t look like a child to me… [BANG] The door? Wait. That isn’t…It can’t be…her?!
[FLUMP] [EEEEEK!] [HISSSSSSS] [CLATTER] Integra (thinking): I’m certainly not bored any more. But it is a bit of a shame. It’s a waste of good cake.
Integra: You gentlemen can stop staring. I know most of you have never seen a vampire up close, but she’s no threat. Seras: Uh, sir… I’m wearing a tight dress and pinning down another blonde girl in a bikini. And we’re both covered in cake. Integra: Your point, Officer Victoria…? Seras: Well, sir, they might… Continue reading Birthday Bash 67/85