Jan: What the bleep? Wait just a bleepin’ minute! Baobhan sith: Oh geez. Jon: You were bleepin’ bitin’ that bleepin’ bleep and you didn’t bleepin’ bleep the bleep? Baobhan sith: You want to know what Hell is, Incognito? Hell is an eternity with Jan Valentine. Jan: Shut the bleep up, bleep.
Jan: That’s a bleepin’ load of bleepin’ bleep and you know it, bleep. Bein’ with a bleepin’ bleep like me is not bleepin’ hell! That bleep’s a bleepin’ picnic! No, Hell is… …when every other bleepin’ word you bleepin’ say is bleeped out! Baobhan sith: I like to think of that as proof of God’s… Continue reading The Storyline From Hell 13/26
Incognito: Enough of these distractions! I think a certain minor vampire needs to be taught a lesson about respect for her betters. Baobhan sith: Bring it on, freak. Jan: Ooh, diss!
Ah, it’s Kim. Remember Kim? (Episodes 2 and 4. Cause of death: Alucard.) [WHACK SLASH BAM] Jan: So, uh…seeing this bleep, doesn’t bleep with your head at all? Kim: Should it? Jan: Well, it’s all violent and bleep. Kim: I made my living by watching vampires slaughter people and then reporting on it. Do you… Continue reading The Storyline From Hell 15/26
Jan: You are one sick bleep. Kim: That’s why I’m here. … This isn’t fair! I have a journalistic duty to tell the world about this and I can’t! It’s like my worst nightmare! Jan: No, bleep. This is Hell.
Kim (thinking): Hm? [CRACK BOOM] Jan: What the bleep? Portal: whsssssshhhhhhhhh
Sett: I came here becaussse I have a proposssition for you. The vassst majority of you would like revenge on Sssir Integral Hellsssing, yesss? Baobhan sith: Revenge? I just want her in a compromising position with my teeth in her neck. Sett: Po-tay-to, po-tah-to…
Baobhan sith: So now what? Sett: We wait.
Baobhan sith: This could take a while, couldn’t it? Sett: Yessss. [Limited release complete. See you next time!]
Jan: I’d like to take a moment to address all Hellsing fans. As you have probably sorted out by now, I swear. A lot. And it’s come to my attention that this upsets some of you. Frankly… …I had no idea that it was so objectionable! And I certainly had no intention of offending anyone!… Continue reading April 1, 2004