For links to this and other public-domain classics, check out the Vampire Literature page. Helena: For those times when you don’t have access to a library, there are plenty of good books readily available over the Internet — like this one… Now, here is a title you may recognize…Carmilla, by J. Sheridan LeFanu, is a… Continue reading Helena’s Reviews: Carmilla
[THUMP] Baobhan sith: A-HAH! There you are! I’ve been waiting for you to show up.
Note from The Future: “Bubbancy” is the anime dub’s attempt to spell “baobhan sith” while assuming it’s a name. She doesn’t have a proper name, so in the transcripts I’ll just call her “baobhan sith” until further notice. Baobhan sith — pronounced “baa’van she” — Bubbancy, one of the White Women of the Scottish highlands.… Continue reading The Storyline From Hell 8/26
Baobhan sith: You lost, didn’t you? Incognito: Well — Baobhan sith: You didn’t kill Alucard. Luke: Eek! Alucard? Where? Baobhan sith: There’s no Alucard here, Luke. You can relax. Incognito: Luke? Luke Valentine? Baobhan sith: Yes. He’s never been quite the same since the events leading up to his death… Luke: Are you sure it’s… Continue reading The Storyline From Hell 9/26
Incognito: Now, wait — you didn’t exactly complete your mission either, remember? You were supposed to kill Integral Hellsing, and didn’t. Baobhan sith: And that was your fault too! As I recall, it was your wiseguy comment that put Alucard’s attention back on her — and, therefore, me. Incognito (flashback): You don’t have a Master…anymore.… Continue reading The Storyline From Hell 11/26
Jan: What the bleep? Wait just a bleepin’ minute! Baobhan sith: Oh geez. Jon: You were bleepin’ bitin’ that bleepin’ bleep and you didn’t bleepin’ bleep the bleep? Baobhan sith: You want to know what Hell is, Incognito? Hell is an eternity with Jan Valentine. Jan: Shut the bleep up, bleep.
Jan: That’s a bleepin’ load of bleepin’ bleep and you know it, bleep. Bein’ with a bleepin’ bleep like me is not bleepin’ hell! That bleep’s a bleepin’ picnic! No, Hell is… …when every other bleepin’ word you bleepin’ say is bleeped out! Baobhan sith: I like to think of that as proof of God’s… Continue reading The Storyline From Hell 13/26
Incognito: Enough of these distractions! I think a certain minor vampire needs to be taught a lesson about respect for her betters. Baobhan sith: Bring it on, freak. Jan: Ooh, diss!
Ah, it’s Kim. Remember Kim? (Episodes 2 and 4. Cause of death: Alucard.) [WHACK SLASH BAM] Jan: So, uh…seeing this bleep, doesn’t bleep with your head at all? Kim: Should it? Jan: Well, it’s all violent and bleep. Kim: I made my living by watching vampires slaughter people and then reporting on it. Do you… Continue reading The Storyline From Hell 15/26
Kim (thinking): Hm? [CRACK BOOM] Jan: What the bleep? Portal: whsssssshhhhhhhhh