Alucard: Your old form was much more handsome, Walter. This new one is nothing but a curse. It will be my honor to tear it apart. You may be more truly an “angel of death” than ever, but you’re less–
Alucard: Do you mind?
Anderson: Your monologues are boring, vampire. Get on with the fighting.
Anderson: Sir Hellsing’s butler? Is that an I-jin too?
Walter: I’m afraid not. This is the real me. Standing before you on my own two feet.
iJeeves: That’s my Walter. Isn’t he a magnificent sight?
Alucard: Oh, now this is just getting disturbing. The real Jeeves was his father figure! Show a little respect!
This strip is part of The Adventures of Tiny Jon.
Miranda: Daddy, that pinches.
Tiny Jon: Sorry, sweetheart. I’ll have this braid done in a minute.
Miranda: Thanks, Daddy! It’s so pretty.
Tiny Jon: No problem…now let’s leave it like that for the next year, okay?
iJeeves: Recall that I-Jin are more than mere clones. We each have a special gift. If you will not be manipulated through subtler means…
…then I shall directly alter your mind.
Walter: Wh-what are y–
iJeeves: You’ll no longer be Hellsing’s retired old trash collector, or Integra’s devoted valet, or even Maggie’s worried father. You’ll be my little Walter once more.
(Some time back in 2009…)
Wilmore and Oliver INVESTIGATE
Jon: Cut! Stop the presses. Pause the strip. Kill the”Hirano-being-weird pastiche” style! That’s better. Sorry to bust in, but I need Larry. Like, now.
Larry: Jon, I realize you’re the boss, but this is the only bit we get to do in this production, so both of us would appreciate it if you–
Jon: I just agreed to adopt a black girl, and I have no idea what to do with her hair.
Okay, that’s a good reason. Come on, white boys. Time for an emergency trip to the salon.
John: Why do I have to be a part of this?
Larry: Because Jon’s going to need your help to carry everything.
A lucky hit. Don’t let it make you cocky, young man.
Dear Walter. I had hoped you would be more cooperative. But I see it was not to be.
Jon is reading a chapter of Beezus And Ramona. Stephen slips in one more Tempest reference.
Jon: “Come on, Ramona, it’s time to go home,” she called to her little sister, who was happily sprinkling sand on a sleeping dog. “And let’s not forget Ralph!” Good old Ralph!
And that’s the end of the chapter. We’ll read the next one tomorrow, okay?
Jon: Good night, sweetheart.
Miranda: G’night and good luck, Daddy.
Stephen: That child has you wrapped around her little finger.
Jon: It happens. Listen, are you heading out soon?
Stephen: As soon as you let me finish, yes! My point is…if Mandy’s little finger is good enough for you, well…If anybody has to inherit me after you’re gone, I…I want it to be her.
Jon: Stephen, this — this is tremendous. I’m thrilled.
Stephen: Not that I’m giving you permission to let your little life be rounded with a sleep any time soon, understand?
Jon: I think that was implied, yes.
Walter: You’re nothing more than a cheap knockoff. It would be an insult to Jeeves’ memory to let you live a moment longer.
iJeeves: Too slow.
Stephen: This is not how you treated me before.
Miranda: But now I know you have the strength, the vigor, the fortitude to carry me all afternoon!
Stephen: “From each according to his ability,” huh? Look up “socialism” in that thesaurus of yours some time.
Miranda: So Daddy makes sure you’re not dangerous?
Stephen: That’s right.
Miranda: And you can’t make him do stuff back, right?
Stephen: If I could, don’t you think he would have shaved by now?
Jon: You guys really hate the beard that much, huh?
Stephen & Miranda: YES.
That’s a Victoria Cross being presented (secretly) to Bertie. His relationship with Jeeves was illegal in the UK at the time, and, as seen with WWII codebreaker Alan Turing, no amount of war heroism would have stopped him from being prosecuted if it had gotten out.
Walter: Jeeves was mortally wounded. We couldn’t risk him ending up in your hands. Alucard offered to turn him. Of course he refused.
I burned his body and scattered the ashes on sacred ground.
Lord Hellsing felt it would hurt morale to let the news get out. Only one other person ever knew, and he was already good at keeping secrets.