Vampire: Aiiee! Wh-what are you?

Alucard: Merely a servant of the Hellsing Organization. I already know what you are — a pitiful pile of trash that…

Integra (thinking): Alucard!

Alucard: Um…just a moment.

Alucard (telepathy): Master, can it wait? I’m in the middle of a speech!

Integra (thinking): Look, just call Seras and send her up here.

Alucard (telepathy): Right away, Master. Police girl!

Seras (thinking): Yes, Master? What is it?

[washing dishes]

Alucard (telepathy): Go see Integra. She needs you.

Seras (thinking): Is she all right?

Alucard (telepathy): She didn’t say. Hop to it!

Seras (thinking): Yes, sir, Master!

Alucard: Well, now that my dramatic atmosphere has been completely ruined, I think I’ll just shoot you and get it over with.

[glug glug glug]

Integra (thinking): …

Integra: Dammit, A’kad, don’ DO that!

Alucard: Did I startle you, Master? I’m SO sorry.

Integra: I hope I didn’ upset y’r dignity too much when I called.

Alucard: Only completely.

The car swerved off the road; I was towering over the maggot vampire, in perfect form. He stuttered; I started a speech — and then had to break it off!

Integra: A’kad?

Alucard: I can’t imagine a greater affront to my dignity than–

Integra: A’kad!

Alucard: What?

Integra: Get me another cup a’ juice.

Alucard: Okay, one greater affront. But only one!