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Chapter 4 Page 08

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Jon: Hellsing’s pet vampire.

Seras: “Employee” vampire, please. I’m under voluntary contract only.

Jon: Uh, right…You made Stephen drop me! While we were hundreds of stories from the ground!

Seras: Oh, good, you remember! I really am sorry about that. I did catch you, though. Frankly…

…you were in much more danger from the ongoing blood loss than anything I’ve done.

Jon: Hey. It’s not the same.
[CLENCH]

Stephen didn’t do anything without my consent. And I knew the risks going in. There’s no comparison.

Fangirls of the Greatest Generation 38/59

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Rounding out the Alucard-loving contingent is Sofie.

Fangirl: OMG IT’S ALUCARD!! OMG I LOVE HIM SOOO MUCH And I love the way he just doesn’t care what gender he is and AAAH I LOVE HIS EYES and his Grin And his hair and his personality and did you know that I would be dead by now if I hadn’t found Hellsing and Alucard? So I can thank Alucard for my life, it’s true!! AAAH I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM and his eyes and hair and grin and coffin…

[SLAM]

Fangirl: OMG THE COFFIN IS ALSO HERE!!

Jeeves (thinking): There’s just no diappointing them, is there?

Fangirls of the Greatest Generation 37/59

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Girlycard: Oh, relax. I’m not hurting your precious pupil. “Fangirls”, huh?

Walter: I am never going to live this down, never, never, never…

Girlycard: If you really want to help us fight their influence…then use that big head of yours to think of something clever, before you open the coffin and let more of them in!

[EEEEEEEEEEE!!]

Girlycard: Ahhh! Close it! Close it, quick!

Fangirls of the Greatest Generation 36/59

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Jeeves: It’s already started…

Girlycard: What–?

Walter: J-Jeeves! It’s not — we weren’t–

Jeeves: Has there been any sparkling? Have either of you two started to smell like freesia?

Walter: What? No…

Jeeves: Then it’s not too late. The fangirls’ influence is strong, but not unbeatable. Fight it!

Chapter 4 Page 07

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Seras is one of the world’s most famous people rarely seen. She’s made a couple of public appearances, enough so that there won’t be rampant speculation about what she looks like, but beyond that she maintains an air of mystique. For the most part, the general population thinks of her as a kind of icon, rather than an actual person.

Jon: “She”? What, the nurse?

Stephen: Geez, Jon, they said you might be out of it, but I didn’t know it was this bad! You really don’t recognize her?

Jon: …oh my god you’re Seras Victoria.

Stephen: He’s usually very clever for a liberal, I swear.

Seras: I won’t hold it against him.

Chapter 4 Page 06

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Jon: Stephen1

Stephen: Jon? Jon!

I’m so glad you’re not a pancake! No matter what your older brothers tell you, asphalt is not secretly good for exfoliation.

Jon (thinking): Stephen, your fangs are showing!

Stephen: It’s okay, Jon. They know. And she’s promised not to hurt me if I keep them to myself.

Chapter 4 Page 05

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The paper pinned over the door is a barrier, like the ones Anderson throws around. It gives this room the protection that a home would have: a vampire can’t enter without the owner’s express invitation.

Jon still has a faint scar on his arm from that nine-year-old ghoul bite.

Seras: Please, try not to strain yourself. What’s the last thing you remember?

Jon (thinking): Cute nurse…No! Cute is bad. Cute will distract you into saying something stupid.

Jon: Listen, it’s all pretty blurry, okay? I was with my friend, and I had skipped one of my pills. That’s probably why I fainted. Please, can you just tell me if he’s here?

Seras: Persistent, aren’t you? All right, come in!

Fangirls of the Greatest Generation 34/59

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Bertie: I say! If they’re as bad as all that, oughtn’t we to be hightailing it for the hills and whatnot?

Jeeves: Indeed. However, Alucard or Walter may already be ensnared in this.

I would advise the two of you to stand clear.

[TUG]
[CREEEAK]

Chapter 4 Page 04

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Jon: Where am I…?

Seras: You’re in a medical facility. Please try to hold still. You don’t want to rip out your IV.

Jon: Ngh…You’re dosing me?

Seras: It’s just a transfusion. Lots of fluid. Essential nutrients. Were you aware that you have severe anemia?

Jon: Oh, right…that. Yeah, the doctor keeps upping my iron prescription…

…Stephen. Is he the one who brought me in? Where’s Stephen?

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