The Major gets pounced by DragonBlessed.
Major: Okay, so they’re useless…
Major fan 1: Aaah! I don’t even know where to start. The Major is sort of short and fat
Major: …and very rude. We have to get rid of them.
Major fan 1: but that’s alright with me, since I’m short too. He’s just the cutest, weirdest, most fantastic little megalomaniac there ever was! Plus he’s German, and has a sexy accent and glasses and a fantastic grin that defies the laws of facial structure in humans!
Major fan 2: There’s a guy on DA who looks JUST LIKE YOU! He smiles like you, he grins like you… He even has your puffy cheeks. <3 And you are amazing in the OVA! You actually should like a evil swine and it makes me giggle with joy...In short, you scare me but I still love you. Major: ... [fizzle] Why don't you turn off the portal machine?