Props to Matthew Henry for sending me the script for this one (adpated from Spaceballs). Enrico in the live-action shots is portrayed by my incredibly patient mother.
Paper Enrico: Take that, Alucard! Pow!
Toy Seras: Hey! What did you do to my Master?
Paper Enrico: The same thing I’m going to do to you! Wham!
And to you, Walter! Thud!
Toy Integra! Oh! Oh, no! You killed my vampires and my butler!
Paper Enrico: Yes!
And now you, Sir Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing, are at my mercy!
Toy Integra: I’ll never give in! Never!
And yet…I’m finding you strangely attractive…mmm…
Timothy: Papers for you to sign, Father–
Enrico: GAH! Don’t you knock?