Crowley: Can I take on thisss one, or does he have tricks up his sleeves too?
Aziraphale: No need to worry, dear. Donnie moves paper with his mind. So I’ve taken the precaution of miracling away the supply he brought with him.
Now the only paper left in here is the books. Donnie cares about them too much to let them get hurt just for a job.
Integra: This was Donnie Nakajima, the 18th Paper. Predecessor and mentor to Yomiko Readman. Less crazy, but not by much.
And, as it turned out, on first-name terms with an angel.
Young Integra: You know him?
Donnie: Of course!
Aziraphale is the best in town at finding rare first editions. I would say he’s “divine”, but that would be an inexcusable pun at this point, wouldn’t it?
Integra: Agent Paper!
Aziraphale: Dear me! You know these people?
Donnie: Hi, Aziraphale! Looks like I’ve arrived just in time!
Integra: I — I’m Sir Integral Wingates Hellsing. We’re on a mission from God.
Aziraphale: Oh, I rather doubt that. I would have heard about it.
Crowley: Yeah, like Upstairs is so good at communicating with you.
Aziraphale: Do shut up, dear.
Donnie: Excuse me!
You haven’t started without me, have you?
Aziraphale: There there. It’s a small burn. You’ll be fine.
Integra: Alucard! Who is he? What is he?
Aziraphale: I say! You’re a very rude girl! This is my shop. Who are you?
There’s a nice big uncompressed version of that splash panel.
Aziraphale: Look, I am sorry about this — it’s going to hurt you, I know–
Aziraphale: –but I have to help my friend.
Aziraphale: Crowley! What did she do?
Crowley: What was that? What did you just say?
Integra (narrating): So there I was, held hostage by the shop owner’s friend…
Aziraphale: Ah, Crowley!
Crowley: We seem to have reached an impasse.
Alucard: Put her down.
Crowley: You firssst. And don’t try any tricks.
Narration: And did I mention he was a demon?
Crowley: You may be a vampire, but I’m meaner than you.
Thanks to the dearly departed Rip Van Winkle, this was the most musical episode of the OVA yet. Let’s get some holiday songs into the mix!
Do You Hear What I Hear?
Said the Master to her vampire pet:
“Welcome back my servant.
You are in the presence of the Queen.
Please remove your glasses.
And now, and now, please give your report
It’s the one we’re waiting to hear
It’s the one we’re waiting to hear.”
Said the vampire pet to Her Majesty:
“It has been a long time.
You have grown old, Your Majesty.
It has been a long time.
And yet, and yet, you are just the same
No, you are more beautiful now
No, you are more beautiful now.”
Said the Queen to the people in the room:
“Listen to what I say!
The enemy has to be destroyed.
“Listen to what I say!
A war, a war, that is what they want
So we’ll wipe them off of this Earth
So we’ll wipe them off of this Earth.”
What Child Is This?
What child is this Millennium
Is using in their war plans?
Who waltzes in with feline grin
And not a gun in his hands?
This, this is Schrödinger
He’s everywhere and yet nowhere
Shoot, shoot, it matters not
He’ll be fine in an hour
Let It Snow
Oh, the massacre here is frightful
But the blood is so delightful
The paint has all run out, so
Let it flow, let it flow, let it flow!
We’re setting a course for England
And the whole way we’ll be singing
The fight will be bloody, so
Order now, and it’ll be shipped to you some time in the next millennium (although its distributor may go belly-up and it may be switched to a new studio in the meantime)!