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Karaoke: I Kissed A Girl

Karaoke: I Kissed A Girl published on No Comments on Karaoke: I Kissed A Girl

Awesome lyrics by Kati, who has another version here on YouTube.

Yumiko: Bless me, Father, for I have sinned…

Priest: What do you have to confess, my child?

Yumiko: Well…

[HellSING!: to the tune of Katy Perry, “I Kissed a Girl.” Lyrics by Kati.]

[Yumiko]
This was never the way I planned
Not my intention
I got so brave, sword in hand
And lost my glasses

[Yumie]
It’s not what I’m used to
Just wanna try you on
I’m curious for you
Caught my attention!

[Heinkel]
I kissed a nun and I liked it
The taste of her Catholic lips
I kissed a nun just to try it
I sure hope my boss don’t mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Don’t mean we’re sinning tonight
I kissed a nun and I liked it
I liked it

[Yumiko]
No, Yumie’s not my name
It doesnt matter
You’re my Sin of Sodom
Going against Christian nature

It’s not what good nuns do
Not how they should pray
My mind’s split in two
I…think she’s gay!

I kissed a nun and I liked it
The taste of her Catholic lips
I kissed a nun just to try it
I sure hope my boss don’t mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Don’t mean we’re sinning tonight
I kissed a nun and I liked it
I liked it

[Yumie]
We’re not the best of Catholics
Not sure if Heinkel has a [CENSORED]
But it’s so sinfully divine
Too good to deny it

[Yumiko]
Ain’t no big deal, I’ll go to confess….

I kissed my partner and I liked it
The taste of androgynous lips
I kissed my partner to try it
I sure hope my God dont mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Could I be sinning tonight?
I kissed my partner and liked it
I liked it!

Isn’t That A Little Bit Dangerous, Jeeves? 60/60

Isn’t That A Little Bit Dangerous, Jeeves? 60/60 published on No Comments on Isn’t That A Little Bit Dangerous, Jeeves? 60/60

Bertie (narrating): Walter’s been living with us for a year now. My aunts have been kept in the dark, which is no easy task, I can tell you! More than a few times we’ve only kept the secret by the skin of our teeth — with the help of Jeeves’ formidable intellect, of course.

Perhaps I’ll write those up later. Paper’s a bit short these days, what with the war on. Suffice to say that we muddled through and, in spite of the rotten state of the world, to say nothing of our rather unconventional circs., we’re happy.

Now, must dash…

…it sounds as if someone’s at the door.

Integra: That’s it? That’s where it ends?

Alucard: Not a bad place to stop, all things considered. It cuts off before anybody dies.

Integra: Ah. This is foreshadowing, isn’t it.

[Limited release complete. See you next chapter.]

Isn’t That A Little Bit Dangerous, Jeeves? 59/60

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Alucard: Master, are you sure you’re ready to be up and about?

Integra: It isn’t a matter of whether I’m ready. My country needs me.

Now, Alucard, before you do anything else…

Alucard: Yes, Master?

Integra: The story…how does it end?

Isn’t That A Little Bit Dangerous, Jeeves? 58/60

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For those of you playing along at home, you can now figure out exactly how the Read or Die timeline maps to the Shineverse. (Caution: link contains massive R.O.D spoilers, and therefore some Shine spoilers as well.)

Integra: I need as much information as possible. Who was responsible? How did they overpower Agent Paper?

Walter: They didn’t have to, sir.

Agent Paper was the one who set the fire.

Isn’t That A Little Bit Dangerous, Jeeves? 57/60

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Walter: I’m sorry to interrupt your rest…

Integra: It’s all right, Walter. I’m feeling much better. What is it?

Walter: Please don’t get up. You’ve been sick, you need to relax…

Integra: I promise. Now get on with it.

Walter: It’s the British Library.

It’s been burned down.

Integra: What?!

Walter: Sir, you did promise!

Isn’t That A Little Bit Dangerous, Jeeves? 56/60

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Walter: Mr. Wooster! Are you okay?

Bertie: Tip-top shape! We Woosters are made of stern stuff, never fear!

Walter: You shouldn’t have gotten hurt in the first place. You shouldn’t have had to save me.

Bertie: It was no trouble, really–

Walter: No! I was showing off. That’s why you were in danger. I’ll be more careful from now on. I swear.

Walter (present): Sir Integra? May I come in?

Integra: Walter! Speak of the devil.

Heinkel vs. Gender, Part 4

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The last of this story, in honor of Transgender Day of Remembrance.

The only statement Kouta Hirano has made about Heinkel’s gender to date is that Heinkel is “neither male nor female.” In Shine I’ve taken that to mean s/he has 5-ARD.

This isn’t quite the same as being transgender, and I don’t mean to take away from trans issues by talking about intersex issues instead. It’s just that Shine has no trans characters (yet?), and, as mentioned, the two groups have a lot of issues that intersect. (No pun intended.) These range from the admittedly slapsticky bathroom confusion to people who have been murdered for their gender identity.

Point is: support trans rights! And intersex rights! And anti-hate-crime legislation! When part of our population has to live in fear simply because of who they are, we all lose out.

(And, in case you didn’t catch it: Yumiko knows.)

Heinkel: Listen, kid, I know you have questions. So ask ’em. Believe me, there’s nothing I haven’t heard before.

Timothy: …how?

Heinkel: Starting with the basics, I see.

Timothy: Is it, like…you’re a woman in a man’s body? I saw that on TV once.

Heinkel: Not quite. You’re thinking of transgendered people.

Some people are born with one physical sex, but the mind of another. If they have the money, they can transition to the body they belong in. Me, I was born somewhere in between. Specifically, I have a thing called 5-alpha-reductase deficiency. That makes me intersex.

There’s some overlap between these categories. Some of us want our bodies changed too, to be fully male or fully female. And even when we don’t, we have a lot of the same issues. Like which restrooms to use. Also, the fact that people tend to panic when they find out.

Timothy: I’m really sorry about that…

Heinkel: Thanks.

Timothy: So are you saying you’re…normal?

Heinkel: Normal? Hah! Kid, you’re working for a secret Catholic hit squad, with a nun whose other personality is a psychopath and a man who can survive a gunshot to the head, to fight witches, demons, and vampires.

Of course I’m not normal. The world isn’t normal. People who don’t fit neatly into one gender are one of the least weird things around. Can you handle that?

Timothy: …You may be unusual, but you’re still my direct superior. If you order me to handle it, I will.

Heinkel: That’s the spirit. You’ve got a bright future with Iscariot, kid.

Isn’t That A Little Bit Dangerous, Jeeves? 55/60

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Narration: It was nice to be the one to shock Jeeves for once, I tell you! And, since this isn’t to be published, I don’t mind adding that we didn’t live as master and servant for much longer…

Integra: That’s quite enough of that.

Alucard: Not a fan of romance, Master?

You don’t suppose Agent Paper had anything in mind when she sent you this, do you?

Integra: Just skip to the next part about Walter, servant.

Isn’t That A Little Bit Dangerous, Jeeves? 54/60

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Bertie: What ever does he mean by that, Jeeves?

Jeeves: Ah…

Bertie: Explain!

Narration: It was the only time I have ever seen Jeeves flustered.

Jeeves: Er…he is…asserting that…you and I have…romantic feelings for each other, sir.

Bertie: Well, I have!

Don’t tell me you didn’t know!

Isn’t That A Little Bit Dangerous, Jeeves? 53/60

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Bertie: You have much more important things to be doing…I don’t want to be a burden.

Jeeves: Sir…

Bertie: Eh?

Jeeves: I work for Hellsing because my country needs me. And I am honored to protect her. But nothing brings me more pride and joy than coming home to serve you.

Bertie: Jeeves…

Arthur: Oh, get a room, you two!

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