Arthur: Looking for something?
Bertie: Yes! Have you seen Jeeves?
Arthur: You think Jeeves is under the bed?
Bertie: No! I think he’s hidden my new tie!
Doc: Another question has been sent to “What’s Up, Doc?” It’s from a Shadowfax272:
“When Millennium inevitably takes over the world, what’s the first thing you’ll change?”
Major: That’s simple!
When I’m Führer, that day all female officers will be required to wear…tiny mini-skirts!
Schrödinger: Hey, will that include Zorin?
Doc: The goggles, they do nothing!
Major: New plan: forget I ever said anything.
Bertie: Walter? Why are you bringing my towel, and not Jeeves?
Walter: Jeeves said I had to learn.
I don’t know why I gotta do this valeting stuff. I should be using the time to work on something more important!
Narration: It was exactly the phrase that Arthur chap had used. There was only one possible conclusion I could draw…
Bertie: Don’t tell me you’re flirting with maids too!
Walter: Ew, no! Girls are gross!
Bertie: And another strange thing, Jeeves…where’s Claude? I’ve never seen Eustace without his twin.
They’re always getting into scrapes, and always together. But this week I haven’t seen hide nor hair of him.
Walter: Yeah, that’s weird.
Bertie: I say! You’re not Jeeves!
Narration: Having fended Jeeves off of the tie, I tried to broach the subject at dinner.
Bertie: So, Eustace, how did you meet this lovely lady?
Dahlia: Oh, Bertie, we’ve heard that story a hundred times. Don’t pester the poor couple.
Narration: I hadn’t the foggiest idea what she was on about, but it is never a good idea to pick fights with aunts.
Bertie: Yes, Aunt Dahlia.
Narration: I put the question to Jeeves the first chance I got:
Bertie: Jeeves! This young woman Eustace has picked up — where’s she from? What’s her tale?
Jeeves: I do not know, sir.
Bertie: Come help me with my cuffs. What do you mean, you don’t know? You know everything!
Jeeves: Thank you for your confidence, sir. Do you intend to wear that tie?
Bertie: What’s wrong with my tie?
Narration: I had a very charming conversation with my cousin Eustace’s new fiancée…
Integra: Wait a minute…
Where did this fiancée come from? Did you skip a page?
Alucard: If I may continue:
“I never could recall exactly when I found out that Eustace had a fiancée. But I never questioned it. Which is odd, because there are specimens of barnacle that would make more responsible husbands than Eustace.”
The lovely conclusion of the flashback adventures of a lovely heroine!
Integra: I’m your…master?
Shoujocard: That’s right!
All you have to do is give me an order!
Shoujocard (thinking): His eyes are so cold…
Integra: Your long hair’s all covered in blood.
Come on. We have work to do.
Shoujocard (thinking): You’re so mean, Master!
Narration: I admit, this Arthur chap was just a bit jarring to the Wooster sensibilities, but I dealt with him smartly and swiftly.
Bertie: Shouldn’t a lad like you be in school?
Arthur: Eh. I’m taking some time off.
I have something more important to work on.
Bertie: Uh…yes. Well, stop fooling around with young fillies and get to it!
Arthur: Are you kidding? The girls are what I’m talking about!
Integra: Oh, no. Do I want to hear about my father’s teenage conquests?
Alucard: You wouldn’t want to hear my version. But with this narrator, I think you’re all right.
Integra: How so?
Alucard: He sees two people kissing and assumes they must be engaged. He wouldn’t know innuendo if it bit him in the neck.
Integra: Point taken.