Alucard (telepathy): We have a problem. Well, I have a problem. The fangirls are having the times of their lives.

Fan 1: Well, who wouldn’t like him? For one thing, he’s as immortal as one can get. True immortality is impossible, but he’s still pretty damn immortal.

Fan 2: ALUCARD IS SO AWESOME!

Fan 3: Alucard is love. He is a brilliant character with an emotional depth and feelings and is a smexeh smexeh God of vampires!

Fan 4: Alucard marry me!!! I’ll be your eternal servant!! Never die! Never die!!

Fan 5: You got to love Alucard! No Life King and badass Gunman. Too bad Alucard his guns are not real or I would love to buy them.

Fan 6: SQUEE ALU-CHAN I WUV YOU SO MUCH, IT’S LIKE A VOLCANO OF LOVE THAT THEATENS TO ENGULF POMPIE AND I CAN’T FEEL MY TOES BECAUSE OF THE LAVA OF LOVE AND I’M GOING TO HUG YOU AND SQUEEZE YOU UNTIL I EXPLODE!!!!!