No wonder the Colbert Report dance-off (between Stephen and Korean rapper Rain, from May 5, 2008) felt like something I’d seen before.
Enrico: Get me the Colbert Report studio.
Operator: We only have one number for them, and it’s–
Enrico: I don’t care! Just dial!
Stephen: This is Ste–
Enrico: Listen up, Colbert! I can accept that we both have the “strictly observant, heavily repressed Catholic” thing going on. And I know I don’t have a monopoly on being an overachieving megalomaniac as a result of a painful and lonely childhood.
I don’t mind that you also have a ridiculously tall and scarily aggressive older man as a substitute father figure…
Anderson: Did he just compare us?
O’Reilly: I think he did.
Enrico: …or that you’ve copied my professed hate for, and repressed lust after, your rival with the pretty blue eyes.
Integra: Did he just compare us?!
Jon: Please don’t hurt me.
Enrico: You can’t really help that. But having a DDR-based dance-off with an athletic and sexy young Asian…
I DID THAT FIRST!!
Stephen: So…are you calling to apologize for copying my bits in advance, or what?
Enrico: …I hate you. So much.