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Posts from November 2007

But What If She Weighs Less Than A Duck? 29/111

But What If She Weighs Less Than A Duck? 29/111 published on 1 Comment on But What If She Weighs Less Than A Duck? 29/111

Timothy: What time is it?

Heinkel: Bedtime. And I suggest you at least pretend to sleep.

You need to be wide awake tomorrow, so that you can do your part in the hunt. Also, you can’t leave the room during the night.

Timothy: Why? Does the witch stalk after dark?

Heinkel: We’re in a women’s dorm. You’re a teenage boy. The residents expect you to stalk after dark.

But What If She Weighs Less Than A Duck? 28/111

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Timothy: …Where am I?

Is this a prison cell?

Heinkel: Close. It’s a college dorm.

But What If She Weighs Less Than A Duck? 27/111

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Headmistress: {Good day to you, Sister Yumiko, Father Heinkel, Brother Timothy. Welcome to Lillian.}

Yumiko: {Thank you, headmistress.}

{It is a pleasure to have returned to this lovely school.}

Headmistress: {Thank you, sister. A representative from the student council is ready to show you around.}

{Oh my! Is he all right?}

Heinkel: He’s just jet-lagged. Tell her, Yumiko.

Yumiko: {He needs sleep, headmistress. I’m afraid we’ll have to postpone the tour.}

But What If She Weighs Less Than A Duck? 26/111

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You can get everything in Japanese vending machines.

Heinkel: Hurry up, kid!

Timothy: I’m coming!

…Is that a potted plant vending machine?

Heinkel: Welcome to Japan, kid.

But What If She Weighs Less Than A Duck? 25/111

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This exchange is of course adapted from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Timothy: When we find our target, how will we know that she’s a witch?

Will she be wearing black robes and have a pointy nose?

Heinkel: It isn’t that easy. But there are ways of telling whether she is a witch.

Timothy: Are there? Tell me!

Heinkel: Think about it. What do you do with witches?

Timothy: Um…burn them?

Heinkel: And what do you burn, apart from witches?

Timothy: Wood?

Heinkel: So why do witches burn?

Timothy: Because they’re made of wood?

Heinkel: Good! So how do we tell if she is made of wood?

Timothy: Uh…

Heinkel: Does wood sink in water?

Timothy: No! It floats!

Heinkel: What also floats in water?

Yumiko: A duck!

Timothy: Ooh!

Heinkel: Exactly!

Timothy: So…if she weighs the same as a duck…she’s made of wood.

Heinkel: And therefore?

Timothy: …she’s a witch?

Heinkel: Exactly.

Timothy: Are you teasing me again?

Heinkel: Well done, kid. You’re catching on.

But What If She Weighs Less Than A Duck? 24/111

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Heinkel: Lesson time, kid. Repeat after me: “Father Maxwell is a cheapskate.”

Timothy: I can’t say that!

Yumiko: Actually, the budget for this trip isn’t from Father Maxwell or Iscariot. All of our expenses are being paid by Lillian Girls’ School.

Heinkel: Cool! So where are we staying?

Yumiko: Um…in the dorms of Lillian’s sister college. But at least it’s not a hotel!

But What If She Weighs Less Than A Duck? 23/111

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Timothy: You have the directions, Yumiko…

What fleabag hotel did our cheapskate boss dump us in this time?

Timothy: You shouldn’t be so disrespectful about Father Maxwell!

Heinkel: You really are new at this, aren’t you?

But What If She Weighs Less Than A Duck? 22/111

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Attendant: {Welcome to Japan! We hope that your flight was comfortable and pleasant!}

{Welcome to Japan!}

Timothy: Um…arigatou?

Attendant: {We hope that your flight was comfortable…}

{…and pleasant. Welcome home.}

But What If She Weighs Less Than A Duck? 21/111

But What If She Weighs Less Than A Duck? 21/111 published on 1 Comment on But What If She Weighs Less Than A Duck? 21/111

Some time later…

Heinkel: Get some sleep, Timothy.

Timothy: But it’s still light out!

Heinkel: That’s because we’re flying towards the sun. You need sleep if you don’t want to be very jet-lagged.

Timothy: But I can’t help it. I’m so excited!

Heinkel: Here’s an Italian-Japanese phrasebook. Memorize it.

Timothy: All of it? Do you really think I can?

Heinkel: No, I think it’ll keep you from bothering me.

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