[FLUMP] [EEEEEK!] [HISSSSSSS] [CLATTER]
Integra (thinking): I’m certainly not bored any more. But it is a bit of a shame. It’s a waste of good cake.
Integra: Of course I’m not scared. You are nothing but a spoiled, silly child. And you will be dealt with as such.
Islands (thinking): Doesn’t look like a child to me…
Wait. That isn’t…It can’t be…her?!
Marian: This is so weird, though…Laura said you had some superpowered nosferatu working for you!
Integra: The Hellsing organization employs soldiers. Talented, efficient, human soldiers.
Integra (thinking): So “Laura” is the brains here…
Integra: But I wouldn’t waste their time on a sad she-freak like you.
Marian: Ooh, you get mean under pressure! You’re not even scared! So cool!
Seras: Walter, I’m sorry I’m late. I overslept…
Walter: You can’t go in, Miss Victoria.
Seras: Couldn’t I just sort of…sneak in very quietly?
Walter: I’m afraid I can’t let you do that.
Seras: Okay, okay, I get the picture! No need to overreact!
Laura (thinking): I don’t believe it. Marian’s trail leads here?
Sorry, miss, but if you come any closer I’m going to have to shoot.
Laura: I don’t have time for this. Listen closely.
I’m a really hot chick.
Bob: You’re a really hot chick.
Laura: And you’re going to let me in.
Bob: And I’m going to let you in.
The real Cheddar Village is almost nothing like the one depicted in Hellsing. I suspect Hirano stuck a pin in a rural area of England and picked the nearest name.
Oh, but it’s a good place. Lots of cheese.
The actual village is at the foot of the impressively high Cheddar Gorge. There are bus tours that go higher, and a climb to the peak for those who are so inclined.
[You park in goat territory.]
Parking lots are squeezed high up in the gorge, and from there you walk down to the touristy stuff.
[It’s a tall gorge.]
[First view of the shops.]
The buildings in the gorge are definitely tourist-oriented. This is the place where cheddar cheese was invented. Unfortunately for them, it was long before the idea of “trademarking” came into fashion.
So they’re getting by on bragging rights, and cheesemaking tours, and cheesy souvenirs.
[Sign: Welcome to Cheddar: Birth place of Farmhouse Cheddar Cheese and home to Real Scrumpy Cider. World famous “Old Cheese Shop” established in the year 1870, the first store ever built in the Gorge.]
[I didn’t try “Real Scrumpy Cider.”]
To be fair, the cheese is really tasty. But if you keep going down, you’ll end up in the village, where the actual people live.
Next Week: Cheddar Churches
Alucard: Enough! This ends now.
[slap slap slap]
Alucard’s coffin. He’s being very helpful, isn’t he?
Marian: This was almost too easy! A little mesmerization and I’ve got all of you beat!
Integra: You think that’s it? You really are so simple that you think a parlor trick like this means that you’ve won?
Marian: And you’re totally awesome, but which one of us can move?
Schrödinger (???): Mew?
Seras: Oh, hi there kitty. What is it?
Oh, right! I’m late for the party!
Forgot there was a lid there…
The thwarted fangirl storyline has fangirl trouble after all.
Marian: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! It’s Sir Integra! She’s just like Laura said! All fierce and tough and…
Oh, right, I almost forgot! All you ugly old guys, be hypnotized now, got it?
And she’s so regal and she’s so elegant and she’s so hot and she’s so noble and…
Integra (thinking): Oh no. She’s not a stripper. She’s a baobhan sith. And she’s a fangirl.