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Fangirls Are All The Same 7/40

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Meet Nobu the Heinkel fangirl, Michael the Integra fanboy, and Kristin the Yumiko fangirl, bringing diversity to the crowd.

Walter: We’re at the door — this is too easy.

Alucard fan 1: The only way you could really get a fair fight against Alucard would be if you could find some way to combine the entire cast of Dragonball Z, Godzilla, and an Eva unit, because I totally think Alucard could take out an Eva unit with just the “Sex Beam”, of course technically an Eva unit does have blood, and really anything with blood doesn’t stand a chance against Alucard

Alucard fan 2: Him and Integra are so together, too, they’re just hiding it, I bet. Alucard is just soooo cool, with his hat and his glasses and ohmigawd he’s soooo hawt!

Alucard fan 3: Makes my tummy tickle. I think you dress so cool, and I love

Alucard fan 4: Heaven would be Alucard dipped in chocolate. …Yeah, I’m a freak. I feel kind of silly ranting, to be honest. Oh well.


Fan 1: Heinkel is GORGEOUS!

Fan 2: Integra is so awesome.

Fan 3: It’s Yumiko XD

Walter: Oh dear.

Doujinshi-Ka’s Inbox: Fangirl Applications

Doujinshi-Ka’s Inbox: Fangirl Applications published on No Comments on Doujinshi-Ka’s Inbox: Fangirl Applications

Erin: This question again…Someone always asks:

Reader: ZOMG! A new fangirl storyline! What info do we have to give you?

Erin: I always post the application form, so it’s not hard to find — but I also make it clear when the deadline’s up. The deadline changes based on how quickly entries come in, but by a month after the form it’s always long past.

So, I’m sorry, but I have to stop at some point so that I can start working on the storyline, and — Oh, a follow-up email?


Erin: Okay, that’s never happened before. I think your love for Alucard is pretty clear already, don’t you?

Fangirls Are All The Same 6/40

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Alucard: Let’s get out of here, Angel of Death.

Walter: I’d love to, but I’m concerned about the force of fangirl impact.

Alucard: Never mind that. Lean on me.

Walter: Do the fans have any influence on this?

Alucard: Silly question.

Alucard fan 1: He has so deep voice and even sound of his footsteps are so horrific. He has two guns! I like guns! I wonder what does he keep in his pockets?

Alucard fan 2: generally considered to be incredible warriors anyway, regardless of the extra abilities he has as a Midian!

Alucard fan 3: Can I bite you? Pretty please? I really like dark hair and yours is so nice, and it grows when you want it to, and red eyes are so hot, and creepy.

Alucard fan 4: and I want to cuddle him, and hold him and kiss him….I don’t know why some people are scared of him. He’s sooo adorable when he gets that huge crazy smile on his face…Awwwww….

Alucard fan 5: Alucard is so amazingly evil and cool in all the good ways. I’d let him bite me. I mean, if he liked me at all and wanted to. Eh heh.

Fangirls Are All The Same 5/40

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In the first panel we meet Ellie Maxwell, Chino Kiri, Elina, and Ramona; in the second, they are joined by Inara and Bloody Shadow, devoted Alucard fangirls all.

Alucard (telepathy): No, Master, everything is not all right. It’s not fatal. Stay where you are. It’s fangirls.

Fan 1: I love Alucard’s eyes. They’re so cool and kinda hot. He’s had such a hard life, so he deserves some fun now and then.

Fan 2: OHMIGAWD ALUCARD’S SO HOT AND SO GREAT AND DON’T YOU JUST LOVE HIM! Girlycard is soooo cute too, I mean, I’d have her, she’s hawt. And don’t you think Alucard’s so cool that he doesn’t have to get older or younger! I mean, he’s just soooooooo fantastic! And he met THE DOCTOR! I’d give so much to meet the Doctor, I envy Alucard so much, but its okay cause Alucard’s cool.

Fan 3: Alucard is wonderful!

Fan 4: Ha, Incognito was a joke compared to Alucard’s ability, especially since he’s a Szekely

Fan 5: I love you Alucard! You are so dangerous and mean, but that only make you hotter.

Fan 6: Oh my God! Alucard is sooooo cute, and hot

Integra: Agent Paper.

Yomiko: Yes?

Integra: Take the writer and get out of here. Now.

Alucard (telepathy): This one recommends that you let me loose more often.

Integra (thinking): Unfortunately, her cool fight scene is our mass death and destruction.

Fangirls Are All The Same 4/40

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Pip: Couldn’t he just be asleep or somethin’?

Seras: No. Something’s wrong.

Integra: Alucard. Find him.

Alucard: Yes, Master.

There you are…Ah.

Walter: Oh no. Here comes the cavalry.

Alucard: You should sound more enthusiastic about that.


Walter: Well, I didn’t mean you. I’m referring to the fact that you have more fans than the rest of Hellsing combined.

Fangirls Are All The Same 3/40

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Abbi’s joined by fellow Walter fangirls: Sandy, and then Hikari.

Nenene (Japanese): {What did she say?}

Yomiko: {She apologized to us for the inconvenience.}

Nenene: {Apologized to you, maybe. She only said your name.}

Integra: Walter?

Walter (thinking): Sir Integra needs me! But if I get up…


…I’m going to fracture something the next time this happens.

Fangirl 1: He’s also refreshingly relaxed — he’s just the sort of calming presence that the rest of Hellsing needs. Just because he’s usually mild-mannered doesn’t mean that he won’t own you, though. In conclusion: Walter Needs Your Love!

Fangirl 2: omg walterisDAMAN!XD I luv how he swings his wires around it’s so cool! teh monocle rox!!! it makes him look so sexy I want to grab his little ponytail and play with it! he is the coolest butler ever. So quiet, but so good at what he does, that’s the best part about him!

Fangirl 3: OHMIGOSH WALTER! How can everyone not just love him! He’s the sexiest old guy ever! And he kicks everyone else’s butts. And he makes awesome tea, I wish he’s make me some tea. And he has the coolest weapons ever, I mean, who else could kill people with dental floss, that takes some serious skillz. He was so cute when he was younger, and only got better as he got older!

Fangirls Are All The Same 2/40

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Abbi (or Churri) the Walter fangirl gets this party started!

Integra: Agent Paper, I apologize for having you called. We overestimated the danger.

Yomiko: Not a problem, sir.

Integra: Come in. I’ll have Walter make us some tea.

Walter: While I appreciate your devotion…

…I have a floor to sweep.


Fangirl: Walter is Awesome. Period. Sure, there’s the Dental Floss of Doom, but that’s not all. Walter can do pretty much anything. Need emotional support? He’s there. Need someone to help run Hellsing? He’s there. Need a pot of tea? He’s there, and ready with a tray of cookies, to boot. Heck, he can probably make Julienne fries, too.

Fangirl Karaoke: I Wanna Be A Supermodel

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Thanks again to “weird little jedi fangirl” Red.

The following is to the tune of “I Wanna Be A Supermodel.” It’s a disturbing and unhealthy song. So it makes sense that the parody is equally misguided. Seriously, if this is your life’s ambition, think again!

I don’t care what saner people say
I’m gonna be a Hellsing minion
And everyone is gonna kill like me
Wait and see
When I’m a Hellsing minion

And my gun will shine like the sea
And everyone will wanna kill just like me

‘Cause I’m smart and I’m fast
And I’m a real good shot
I’m gonna be a Hellsing minion

I wish that I was like Lord Alucard
With a gun like his and a boss like this
And I would show them how, how it was done
And that’d be fun, oh, that’d be fun

And I would sing my song out loud
On “Why I love my guns; why I love to kill”
And oh! the Harkonnen
It’s the coolest gun that you’ve ever seen

‘Cause I’m smart and I’m fast
And I’m a real good shot
I’m gonna be a Hellsing minion

I got to shoot yesterday
And I’m going to shoot today
And I’m going to shoot tomorrow
‘Cause I’m going to be a Hellsing minion!

‘Cause I’m smart and I’m fast
And I’m a real good shot
I’m gonna be a Hellsing minion

Fangirls Are All The Same 1/40

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Even Walter’s humming is classier than average.

Walter (thinking): Funny…somehow, I thought this office was darker. Maybe it’s my imagination. At least this design is tasteful.

[humming Another One Bites The Dust]


Walter: That, on the other hand, hasn’t changed a bit.

And Shine Heaven Now: Full Restored & Integrated Timeline!

And Shine Heaven Now: Full Restored & Integrated Timeline! published on No Comments on And Shine Heaven Now: Full Restored & Integrated Timeline!

Cameos: Princess Serenity and Luna; Adam Young.

Strict Hellsing canon is in brown. The rest is a combination of history, crossovers, and previous events of Shine. You’ll notice that some of them have been rearranged; all in all, though, the events were generally the same.

We now return you to your normal state of comic-strip time-suspension.

Billions of years ago: Universe created. Stars born in Galaxy Cauldron.

Millennia ago: Interplanetary human Golden Age.

o A.D.: Jesus does his thing.

Jesus: Ow.

1517: Martin Luther does his thing.

Luther: The Church sucks!

1892: Emma & William Jones marry. Hakim plays third wheel.

Hakim: It’s okay — I have four of ’em!

1897: Dracula!

Van Helsing: You have nothing left, Count.

1942: World War. Hellsing helps.

Girlycard: Coffin, attack!

1987: Integral takes control.

Young Integra: I’m the boss. Now get me weapons.

1990: The Apocalypse doesn’t happen.

Adam Young: *shrug*

1994: Yomiko Readman saves world from I-jin.

Yomiko: I just wanted my book back.

1997 (spring): Seras joins Hellsing.

Seras: I’m dead, and it gets worse?

Still ’97 (spring): Attacks culminate in assault on Hellsing house.

Helena: Trap.
Seras: Eep!

1997 (summer): Attempts to get Integra to relax; a party, a cruise.

Integra: This is NOT stress relief.

’97 (summer): Wild Geese hired.

’97 (late summer): Reseda.

Reseda: Meow.

’97 (fall): Pip takes Seras on a date, or tries to.

Pip: C’mon, baby…

Madeline: Je suis la awesome.

’97 (winter): Agent Paper called to aid Hellsing.

Yomiko: But they didn’t need me.

’97 (Christmas): Grinchiness is overcome; pfeffernüsse is bought.

Rip: Yes, we’re still here.

Early 1998: Timeline-repair loop opens.

Yomiko: Here’s how to fix it.

Yomiko #2: OK.


1999: Apocalypse almost happens, again.

Major: War!

Others: Revolution! / Dragons of Heaven!

2012: Apocalypse happens.

One thousand years hence: World comes back.

Neo-Queen Serenity: I happen to like this place.

12,090: Vampire Hunter D.

D (thinking): Angst

AFTER THAT: Who knows? It’s really the stuff between 1998 and ’99 that interests us.

And that’s just from the first three years.

Happy birthday, Shine!

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