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Posts from June 2006

Fangirls Are All The Same 16/40

Fangirls Are All The Same 16/40 published on No Comments on Fangirls Are All The Same 16/40

You’ll get to see what Heinkel and Yumiko are up to tomorrow.

Seras: Um, it’s just occurred to me — those two haven’t had experience with fangirls before.

Meanwhile, outside:

Yomiko: Sir, could you watch her for a minute? {Sensei, wait here. I’m going to see if they need my help.}

Wild Goose: You’re that author, right? No problem.

Nenene: {Fine. But if you’re not back in five minutes…}

Back in:

Integra: No, they haven’t. I wonder how long they’ve been at that.

Pip fan: awesome braid! and he throws it over his shoulder like FWIP all casual, and no one else can make an eyepatch quite as sexy as Pip, I mean rawr

Integra fan: What is there to say about the beauty that is Integra? I love her to pieces, her hair, her suit, her eyes, glasses, lips, hips, cigars. She’s absolutely awesome, astounding, wonderful in everyway. So in control, so powerful. Like a lioness prowling through the savannah and killing with precision, it is deathly elegant beauty

Fangirls Are All The Same 15/40

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Gabryel is the calm one; Elise returns us to the fangirl norm.

Integra (thinking): We have to knock the fans out by doing something to impress them. But what? Who knows what fans like? They’re all so insane…

Fangirl: Ehem.

I just want to say I really respect Sir Integra. Strong-hearted, cool-headed and manly even with long hair; she’s a perfect idol for a feminist. She is well mannered, a cool knight, and even has a sword! But she could show a bit more emotions, and she could rely on others more often, because a good leader needs to trust her people. And finally, she should smile more, I think.

[pat pat]

Integra (thinking): Now, why can’t they all be like that one?

[EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!]

Fangirl 2: Oh, the elegance that is Integra!

Fangirls Are All The Same 14/40

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Pip fan: Forward, Pip! Kick Heinkel’s butt! Onward!

Pip: We’ve got to get rid of these.

Walter: They’re just like my wires.

Integra: There must be a way we can make use of this…

Pip: Boss, this one’s riding around on my head.

Integra: Captain, I don’t think that’s a great danger–

Pip (whispering): And it’s giving me mental images of Big Red naked.

Integra: I take it back.

Integra fan 1 (thinking): Sir Integral Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing…she’s real! This is awesome, this is amazing, this is as good as going to London! No one had better mess with her mind (forced pairings and such) or I’ll glare them down right alongside her. I hope my glare is even a tenth as cool, icy and effective as hers. Her tea smells good…to bad I’m to small to drink a cup with her…that would be the perfect moment!

Seras fan 1: I mean, what’s a little peck between friends, right? It was also pretty cute when she was snogging with Pip, but good God, she’s so cool, and I can totally

Walter fan 1: Sir, I am honored to meet you! I realize you have likely heard it before, Walter, but I think you are the most excellent person ever. Your skills are excellent, your personality, the same… I’m so very honored to meet you!

Walter fan 2: I could go on & on about you, but I’d just end up embarrassing myself more… so I’ll just sit here & observe you in action!

Fangirls Are All The Same 13/40

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Nami the Pip Fangirl attacks in the last panel.

Seras fan 1: a nip of your affection! I did cachinnate at those lowly Geese, frightened by but a fraction of your power!

Pip fan 1: Hey! How dare you question the coolness of Pip? Attack!

Seras fan 1: Oh, how I pity you who would stand and attack! Burn, break, flay! Rip, tear, shred! Show no mercy! KILL, KILL, KILL!!!!!

Seras: Hang on a moment! I’m not going to just attack. Random violence is not the answer!

Pip fan 2: What’s she talking about?

Pip fan 3: Yeah. I mean, this is Hellsing.

Pip fan 4: Plus, Pip looks hot when he’s fighting!

Pip: They have a point.

Seras fan 2: relate to her cuz she only know whats going on, like, half the time, but she still fights like a valkyrie and is strong willed and cute

Pip fan 4: WHOA BOY, where do I start on the complete awesomeness that’s Pip? Well let’s begin by saying he’s REALLY SEXY. I mean, just look at his gorgeous orange hair, in that

Fangirls Are All The Same 12/40

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Whatever Walter’s wires may be made of, the fans use genuine super-strong floss.

Integra: If you really want to be helpful, you could get my butler safely to the floor.

Integra-cosplayer: Hey, you’re right! Trisha — make it so!

Trisha-cosplayer: Right away, milady! Now I can just lower you down.

Walter: It’s not the most dignified rescue, but it’ll do.

Integra fan 1: Women in suits are so utterly hot, and Integra wears a suit so she’s so utterly hot and if there was a word for perfectionawseomness it would be Integra! All hail the awesome that equals Integra!

Pip fan 1: The Brittanica Cowboy! Be still, my beating heart.

Pip fan 2: almost like a whip, HA! INDIANA PIP! He’s not only the man, he’s the badass pimp. And…um…that’s all I got, I’ll be quiet now.

Alucard fan 1: And he’s got GUNS! Nice shiny guns, and a slave and a master, and ooh… kinky.

Seras fan 1: creamy complexion! Alucard be damned! Integra be damned! It is you, and you alone that keeps Hellsing interesting! Oh, Seras Victoria, what I would give for but a fraction of your prowess,

Walter fan 1: The monocle, the wire, the knowledgeable, confident attitude; everything is just so perfect! Ok, I admit, Integra and Alucard run a close 2nd in my obsession, but you are the one who ties them all together!

Seras fan 2: licked Integra’s hand that one time, so maybe she ought to go do that, maybe even a little kiss,

Baltimora

Baltimora published on No Comments on Baltimora

A fan named Moose dug up a video of Baltimora‘s Tarzan Boy with this Anderson-lookalike shot (and now in The Future, I can’t find a working link). It seems our favorite paladin had a secret identity in the eighties.

[humming]

Enrico (thinking): Did disco really die? (I certainly don’t think so.) Oh, wow, Italo Disco! I was just a kid when that happened. Wikipedia really does have everyth– Whoa.

Enrico: Anderson, could you come in, please?

Alex: What’s wrong? Is Sir Hellsing acting up again?

Enrico: Nothing of the sort. Come here. How do you explain this?

Alex: …

No explanation could justify this, sir.

Enrico: Good answer.

Fangirls Are All The Same 11/40

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Sir Catherine the Integra fangirl (from the first panel) and Tricia the Walter fangirl (from the second) are cosplaying partners in crime; PurgatoriX (newly arrived on Walter’s head) is an unaffiliated Walter fangirl.

[EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!]

Integra: Walter! Close that door!

Walter: I’m sorry, sir, but I’m in a bit of a spot at the moment.

Walter-cosplayer: Sir Catherine! Do you need anything, milady?

Integra-cosplayer (thinking): I want to help her…I wish there was something I could do!

Alucard fan 1: I mean come on. That hair. That fangy smile! How could you resist that wonderful-ness that is known as Alucard? He’s just so cool, and so sexy, and so irresistible, and he can suck my blood any time he wants, oh!

Pip fan 1: Sure, Alucard’s got those big fancy guns, and Walter has his floss, but they don’t have the suave, awesomeness Frenchiness that is Pip! He’s got that awesome long braid that’s

Seras fan 1: bright red eyes, so full of emotion, so tender, revealing your last precious trace of humanity! I relish in your golden hair, your

Integra fan 1: minion! She’s great with a gun and she has a commanding personality and she looks great whenever she does anything!

Walter fan 1: Gasp! Walter! It’s really you!

Walter fan 2: Holy crackers, it’s Walter! Oh, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to meet you! I’m such a huuuge fan, you wouldn’t believe! When I saw you for the first

Integra fan 2: Not to mention the no-nonsense attitude. And lets hear it for Non-Political Correctness!

Integra fan 3: cynical and has a lot of self-control.

Fangirls Are All The Same 10/40

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KitsuneSam the Alucard fangirl, like both the Pip fans so far, is an AxP shipper.

Seras: Captain!

[EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!]

Pip: What just happened?

Seras: I just gave up what might’ve been the hottest sight of my life for you. Be grateful.

Alucard: Good work, police girl.

Alucard fan 1: I love the way he thinks, I love him! I love him! I love him!

Pip fan 1: His devil-may-care smile! That kick ass eyepatch and that long braid to play with! I mean, Alucard is undead and Walter’s got his dental-floss-of death, but Pip’s got GUNS! And that’s all he needs aside from someone to love him like I do! Plus he had a guitar on one of the chapter covers, which is all the more reason to see why he’s such an ideal guy! The man can rock and kick your butt at the same time no problem!

Heinkel fan: The glasses just add to the smex, and that lovely BUST don’t even get me started. Yeah that’s right, pull out that gun and strike a pose. (and maybe draw Yumiko a bit closer!)

Alucard fan 2: Alucard is awesome. *squeal* I have to sit back and just stare at Alucard sometimes! Like on page 91 of volume 6! *flails* Sex on legs! SEX ON LEGS I TELL YOU! He beats everyone. PWNAGE ONTO ALL! I adore him.

Seras fan: Your strength inhuman, your perfect, ample figure!

Integra fan: intelligent, beautiful, independent, arrogant, ironical

Fangirls Are All The Same 9/40

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Ahab and Zach the Seras fanboys pounce in the first panel; Spike the Pip fanboy and Shredder the Pip fangirl have hit by the second.

[EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!] [EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!]
[ARRRRRRRRRRR!!]

Seras (thinking): Well, this isn’t too bad. I’m feeling some affection for Pip, but that happens with Fangirls.

And it looks like he’s feeling the same…

…Wait. That’s not me he’s looking at…

Seras fan 1: AHHHHHH, MY SERAS! Oh, how many ways I do adore you!

Seras fan 2: Ohmgah, Seras totally needs to flip out and kill something now, cuz she’s totally hot when she does that, ‘course, she’s also totally hot when she

Pip fan 2: How could anyone NOT like Pip? His charming wit!

Pip fan 2: PIP! Pip’s da man! Who da man?! PIP DA MAN!

Integra fan (offscreen): eeeee Integra is soo awesome she’s got the softest hair on the entire world and she can keep all the other people in check

Integra fan 2: I like Integral because she’s strong-willed,

Integra fan 3: Wow. Can we say no fear! Integra is the best character. She owns everybody (some more literally than others)

Fangirls Are All The Same 8/40

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Integra gets mobbed by another trio of fangirls (well, one’s a fanboy): Jigoku no Son, Dan, and Bunny.

Heinkel: This is some manner of devil!

Yumiko: Oh, this is adorable!

Integra: You’ve just recapped the whole concept of fangirls quite nicely.

Alucard fan 1: love your hat and glasses. I wish I could have you as a pet. I would take good care of you. I would let you sleep in my bed, have nice donor-blood and your own chewing-toys…..

Alucard fan 2: Is shapechange tiring? And where his guns goes when he is dog? He is so cute and sexy and scary and fascinating and fun and dangerous and deadly. He even looks so cool with all those fangs and coat and tie and sunglasses and boots and suit and hair!

Alucard fan 3: I love his cuteness, I love his power, I love his intelligence, I love his attitude, I love his style, I love the way he dresses,

Heinkel fan: Her hair is so swishy and reminds me of Haruka from Sailor Moon not just because she’s totally into women but also because she’s dead SEXY!

Yumiko fan: She’s got a split persona that kills ppls ^_^ What’s there not to love? Honestly she’s just sooooo cute when she’s all shy and then UBER cool when she’s Yumie!

Integra fan: she pwns anyone who stands against her. Even the mighty Alucard serves as her

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