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Not Quite Victoria’s England 107/120

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There are infinite possibilities here, some less probable than others.

Some are pretty much just like ours, with a trivial decision making the difference.

Heinkel #1: If I’d known my day would turn out like this, I would have just had that extra cornetto at breakfast.

Heinkel #2: I did have that extra cornetto at breakfast.

Others, unfortunately, are both close to our own and far more sinister.

[BLAM]

Alt!Integra: Sehr gut. Vorwärts!

Not Quite Victoria’s England 106/120

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Or consider this timeline…

You’ll need to zoom in to see these.

Those are dust specks. Closer.

No, still closer.

Keep zooming.

Almost there…

Yes, this is our target — because, after all
A Hellsing’s a Hellsing, no matter how small.

Not Quite Victoria’s England 105/120

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When Seras is the guy, he doesn’t lose his top hat.

And here, the obligatory timeline-with-all-the-characters’-genders reversed:

F!Pip: Did you catch the lady Integra over there?

M!Seras: Yes…

F!Pip: So she is a chick. At first I thought I was looking at a really hot guy. I mean, yuck!

M!Seras: Are you surprised that other Integras are ambiguously gendered?

F!Pip: Touché.

M!Fundamental: Akado, let me borrow your coat!

Not Quite Victoria’s England 104/120

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Cameo: Oscar, from Rose of Versailles.

In this reality, dying gendarme Pip Bernadette was turned into a regenerator by the Holy League, with its resident ace-in-the-hole Madeline. They later hired the mercenary Wild Cats, led by Seras Victoria.

Madeline: I don’t like this.
Fondamentale: Wow! Lots of Madelines!
Pip: What’s going on, Master?
Madeline: Something catastrophic, I’m sure . . .
Seras: Ah!
This gentleman explained it to me.

Oscar: I’m a woman.

For instance, here we have the results of a more Francocentric history.

Alt!Integra: Waou! Beaucoup de Madeline!

Madeline: Je n’aime past ça.

Pip: Qu’est-ce qui se passe, Maître?

Madeline: Quelque chose de catastrophique, c’est sûr…

Pip: Ah!

Ce monsieur me l’a expliqué.

Oscar: J’suis une femme.

Not Quite Victoria’s England 103/120

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Cameos: Roy Mustang and Riza Hawkeye, from FMA.

The General Mish Mash of Everything is well-named: It holds residents from every possible version of every shredded timeline.

Alt!Fundamental: Ooh! There are lots of Alexes!

Some are just a few years ahead of ours…

…Others are a bit behind.

Alt!Arthur: Aw, please don’t fight…

Alt!Walter: Like it’s my fault he’s turned into a pansy.

Most, though, are identical to ours up to a point — at which some fundamental hcange sent it off in a different direction.

Riza: You ever get the feeling we’re giving something away, just by being here?

Roy: No, why?

Helena’s Reviews: Good Omens Fanfiction

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Helena: For the record, everyone here should go read Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett’s Good Omens as soon as possible. Brilliant British humor, back-to-front knowledge of the Book of Revelations, and amazing characterization are only the first few reasons. But you do not need to read any Crowley/Aziraphale fanfiction, as I am going to summarize it all right now.

Helena’s Reviews presents: Every Crowley/Aziraphale Fanfic Ever Written: A Brief Summary

It opens with a quote.

“Many people, meeting Aziraphale for the first time, formed three impressions: that he was English, that he was intelligent, and that he was gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide.” –page 147

Crowley tries to swear!*

*There are footnotes.

Crowley: Go–chr–je–hea–he–da–bl–drat.

Aziraphale says:

Aziraphale: Ineffable.*

*And “my dear”, for good measure.

Hastur and Ligur (optional) lurk.

They feed ducks in St. James’ Park, and have dinner at the Ritz, or an ethnic restaurant.

Copious quantities of alcohol are consumed.* Despite existential angst, one or both confess.

*Circular conversation ensues.

Cuddling and kssing ensue.*

*And possibly more, depending on the rating of the story.

And in the background, Adam cuddles with whichever member of the Them/Horseperson/thing this author ships him with. The end.

Helena: There! All done! Now, you do not need to stay up to inordinate hours [say, ten AM] delving far back [for example, to August 2005] on the archives of a Liverjournal community [such as lower_tadfield] adding ridiculous volumes [approximately one hundred thirty] of this to your memories!

Erin: Eh heh.

Not Quite Victoria’s England 102/120

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Pip: Hey, there goes another!

[RRRRIP]

Seras: That isn’t a good thing, Captain…

Alt!Yomiko: Where are we?

Alt!Nancy: I’ve read about this. It’s called–

Pip: –the Whole Sort Of General Mish Mash!

Seras: Captain!

Alt!Yomiko: Hey, thanks!

Seras: We don’t know these people!

Pip: Sure we do, mignonette. That’s the point of alternate timelines.

Not Quite Victoria’s England 101/120

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That first Sir Integra is from a timeline with some other paradox involved. Possibly the I-Jin Wells went for a different character’s ancestor. Or perhaps that timeline’s Integra is supposed to be Caucasian/half-Asian/half-African/something-other-than-half-Indian, and this is the result of her Caucasian/Asian/African/something-other-than-Indian mother’s father’s death.

Alucard: Sir Integra?

Integra: Sir Integra.

Fundamental: “Sir Integra”?

Integra #2: Also, General Integra.

Integra #3: And Countess Integra.

Vladcard: Every timeline that a paradox shreds dumps its residents here.

Fundamental: Wow! Two Akado!

Alucard: I see.

Alucard (thinking): Note to self: avoid the bearded look.

Not Quite Victoria’s England 100/120

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Wanted the Whole Sort of General Mish Mash to look significantly different from the rest of the comic, so I broke out the colored pencils. It’ll get better with practice.

The HHG Project’s definition for the WSOGMM reads as follows: “The technical term for the sum total of all the parallel universes, which aren’t parallel, and furthermore are not, strictly speaking, universes either. This is easiest if you don’t try to realize that until a little later, after you’ve realized that everything you’ve realized up to that moment is not true. The reason they are not universes is that any given universe is not a thing as such, but rather just a way of looking at the WSOGMM. The reason they are not parallel is the same reason the sea is not parallel. You can slice the WSOGMM any way you like and you will generally come up with something that someone will call home. Please feel free to blither now.”

Nenene: I think we broke the world.

Yomiko: Wait — I’ve read about this.

Fundamental: ooh.

Yomiko: It’s called —

Integra: — the Whole Sort Of General Mish Mash.

Not Quite Victoria’s England 99/120

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Alucard’s coat is a part of him . . . which I don’t think Fundamental realizes. (Integral knows it quite well, and under normal circumstances wouldn’t let it touch her.)

And now you know when they ended up (around 12,090 A.D.), even though they weren’t there for long.

Fundamental: Thanks! This robe is so cool!

Alucard (thinking): Just my luck. The one time she puts on my coat, it’s not worth taking advantage of.

Fundamental: Eep! What’s that?!

Vampire Hunter D: Dad?!

[RRRIP]

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