>More and more people like this parody’s author are sending me modified song lyrics. Keep ’em coming!

Well, Maxwell has Heinkel and Yumie
Millennium, it had a thousand men
But Master, you in luck, ’cause in this room
You got a creature stronger than all them

You got some power from your father, now
You got a vampire who has been made tame
You got some punch, pizazz, yahoo, and how
See all you gotta do is call my name
And I’ll say:

Master Integra, Sir
What will your pleasure be?
Let me take your order
Shoot freaks down
You ain’t never had a pet like me!

Protection is your job
And I’m your sword and shield!
C’mon order what it is you want
You ain’t never had a pet like me!

Yes, sir, I pride myself on violence
You’re the Knight, Countess, the boss!
Say what you wish: it’s yours, right quick!
How about a little light for that cigar?

Give me some blood type A,
and lots of blood type B
I’ve got the urge to help you, Sir
You ain’t never had a pet like me!

Can your soldier do this?
Does your butler do that?
Do your troops pull this
From your little hats?

Can other knights go, poof?
…well, looky here!

Can your soldiers go “Release control art restrictions!”
And make the target simply disappear?

So while your uncle sits there, sans an arm
If he tries anything he won’t get far!
I’ll keep you safe from any kind of harm!
He won’t hurt so much as a strand of hair

I got a powerful gun to help you out
So whatcha wish? I really wanna know
You got a list that’s three miles long, no doubt
Well, all you gotta do’s command like so–
And, oh,

Master Integra, sir, I’ll kill the enemy
I’m on the job, their plans I.ll stop
You aint never had a pet, never had a pet
You aint never had a pet, never had a pet
You ain’t never had a pet like me!