The original Brief History of Christianity started here.

If you were paying attention during A Brief History of Christianity you already know this part…In 1517, Marthin Luther had a stunning revelation.

Luther: The church right now is really, really messed up.

People: He’s right!

Pope Leo X: He’s just some drunk German. He’ll go away.

Although protesting much of Catholic doctrine, Luther didn’t — at first — actually want to split from the church. But compromise proved…difficult.

Zwingli: Smash all the relics! Break all the stained-glass windows! Wreck all the fancy churches!

Ignatius of Loyola: Burn all the Protestants!

Luther has a point with this “priests shouldn’t preach contradictory things” bit…we should have some schools to sort that out.

To the church’s credit, it did fix some of its problems — for example, it came up with one doctrine and started teaching it to everyone. The Protestants, at this stage…don’t have a doctrine. They just know what they don’t do.

Enter John Calvin. He wrote a book organizing and spelling out Protestant beliefs — and gave it a more militant mission (i.e. “convert everyone now!)”.

John Calvin [holding Institutes of the Christian Religion]: Okay, folks, start getting converts!

France is a staunchly Catholic country at this point, but a French noblewoman named Jeanne D’Albert likes the way Calvin thinks…

D’Albert (thinking): This man could be on to something.

Next time: to Hugeo or not to Hugeo?