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Une Histoire Brève du Christanisme (en France!)

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During the Reformation, Spain saw itself as a stronghold of Catholicism…but France was a pretty close second. The Huguenots (French adherents to Calvin’s writing) were never more than a small minority — but they were a vocal one. Besides, they had half of the nobility on their side.

The royal family — the Valois — was still vehemently Catholic.

– King Charles IX, age eleven

– Catherine de’ Medici (really in charge here)
– King Charles IX
– Future King Henry III
– Marguerite de Valois
– Henry of Navarre
– Jeanne D’Albert

If you think this sounds like trouble, you’re not alone. Violence began erupting between the two groups. In an effort to smooth things over, a marriage was arranged between the king’s sister and the sun of Jeanne D’Albert, the de facto leader of the Huguenots.

Unfortunately, the wedding of the Huguenot leader brought lots of Huguenots together in one place, leading to the worst clash yet: the bloody St. Bartholemew’s Day Massacre.

In short: lots of Huguenots died.

Sounds bad, right? Well, it’ll get worse: When Henry III ends up on the throne, he ignores Mom’s influence and tries to be more moderate. But she isn’t the only crazy Catholic in the country…

Next time: The War of the Three Henries

Tu Seras Avec Moi 15/43

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Pip: “Ah . . . really, I broke a record for the number of women brought there during a week . . . but she doesn’t need to know that.”

Pip: Actually, I do know at least one decent place in this area…and I can get us in cheap.

Seras: What’s the story with this one?

Pip: Again, it was in thanks.

It was during the Franco-Prussian war…the Coyotes, later to become the Wild Geese, were hired by a small village near Aix-en-Provence. They chased a block of troops all the way to Paris…where they stayed in this hotel. Turned out the manager had grown up in that village. His mom still lived there.

Seras: You have such a fascinating history, Pip…

Pip (thinking): Eh…vraiment, j’ai battu un record pour la quantité des femes y amenée pendant une semaine…mais elle n’a pas besoin de la savoir.

Tu Seras Avec Moi 14/43

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Pip: It’s fine, mignonette, really.

Seras: No, it is not fine.

It’s irresponsible to drive drunk, much less fly. And we have to cross water! We’ll just have to stay here for the night — rent a motel room, or something.

Pip: Boy, you sure do move fast…

Seras: Not that kind of motel, you idiot!

Tu Seras Avec Moi 13/43

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Pip: Now that we’re friends again, we should get home an[YAWN]

Seras: Are you okay?

Pip: Fine…just tired.

Seras: It can’t be that late…

Pip: It’s different for vampires. You don’t sleep at night by nature.

And perhaps I’ve had a bit too much to drink…

Seras: And you want to fly a helicopter in that condition?

Tu Seras Avec Moi – Birthday Interruption

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Note from The Future: it’s 2017 and I still own that shirt.

Erin: Sorry to break in on your “moment”…I’ll be quick.

Today is my 18th birthday!

Seras: Congratulations!

Erin: And you know what that means…

Pip: You’re legal!

Erin: Seras? Hit him.

Seras: With pleasure.

Tu Seras Avec Moi 11/43

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Pip: You’re so tired of being judged by your appearance that you’re just running away from it entirely. Don’t forget, you are a cute little blonde with a cute figure! You’re also a smart, determined, loyal, and interesting young woman. Why can’t you be all of that at once, hm?

Now, me — I’m a strong, tough, funny, talented, smart, bad*** guy. Plus I like big boobs. At least I’m comfortable with it.

Une Histoire Brève du Christanisme (en France!)

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The original Brief History of Christianity started here.

If you were paying attention during A Brief History of Christianity you already know this part…In 1517, Marthin Luther had a stunning revelation.

Luther: The church right now is really, really messed up.

People: He’s right!

Pope Leo X: He’s just some drunk German. He’ll go away.

Although protesting much of Catholic doctrine, Luther didn’t — at first — actually want to split from the church. But compromise proved…difficult.

Zwingli: Smash all the relics! Break all the stained-glass windows! Wreck all the fancy churches!

Ignatius of Loyola: Burn all the Protestants!

Luther has a point with this “priests shouldn’t preach contradictory things” bit…we should have some schools to sort that out.

To the church’s credit, it did fix some of its problems — for example, it came up with one doctrine and started teaching it to everyone. The Protestants, at this stage…don’t have a doctrine. They just know what they don’t do.

Enter John Calvin. He wrote a book organizing and spelling out Protestant beliefs — and gave it a more militant mission (i.e. “convert everyone now!)”.

John Calvin [holding Institutes of the Christian Religion]: Okay, folks, start getting converts!

France is a staunchly Catholic country at this point, but a French noblewoman named Jeanne D’Albert likes the way Calvin thinks…

D’Albert (thinking): This man could be on to something.

Next time: to Hugeo or not to Hugeo?

Tu Seras Avec Moi 10/43

Tu Seras Avec Moi 10/43 published on No Comments on Tu Seras Avec Moi 10/43

Seras: Pip, you were just what I thought at first, but tonight I thought I saw someone different — someone deeper — in you.

But I guess you’re just the same as all the rest…

Pip: Oh, stop it with the shoujo-manga melodrama!

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