Shoulder devil: I’m going to try appeasing the pairings that they ship. Most of the people involved aren’t here…and I’m not doing “IntegraxSelf”…which leaves…

[SMOOCH!]

Shoulder devil: Hmm. Nothing.

Laura: No, no, you almost had them. Give it one more try.

Fan 1: But only one thing could make it better, Alucard and Integra together would make one ****king awesome couple.

Fan 2: I could just hug her and squeeze her all day! I bet she’d keep up with me in a PT run too!!!

Fan 3: I’m up to the point of my obsession where my mother keeps asking me if I “swing” that way (so to speak…)

Fan 4: so sure of her faith and she has really big boobs, did I mention her really big boobs? And Integra’s so sexy and Integra exudes self-confidence and Integra bosses Alucard around and Integra runs the show and Integra smokes those huge cigars and Integra wears Ascot ties and Integra has a trenchcoat, SQUEE I wish I had her trenchcoat,

Fan 5: BLINDED BY HER POWER. I AM MADDENED BY THE DESIRE TO TASTE SWEET HELLSING BLOOD! I ENVY ALUCARD……OH, YES……