Fan: Well, Helena’s obviously well-read, and has had time to spare, so being turned into a vampire as a child was awful short-sighted of her sire. I mean, why

Helena: oof.

Fan 2: calm and she’s a balancing point for everybody who meets her

Fan 3: And she has all this cool collection of books!!! BOOKS!!! She appears so cold and uncaring not to forget she is a vampire. What more could someone want!

Helena: These must be “fangirls”…I’ve read about them, but I never realized that they could be found in…

[gasp!]

Fan 4: sweetand Ijustloverherpersonalityandthewayshejustallowed Incognitoandwassoocalmaboutitandshehelped Serasandtheotherguyandit’ssobadthatsheand Integralnevermetand

Fan 2: and she’s so pretty in her little old-English dress and she always reads which makes her smarter than anybody else in the whole wide world of Hellsing

Fan 5: I mean there is clearly so much more to her than we see

Helena/Incognito: YOU!!