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Fangirl Karaoke: It’s The End Of The World As We Know It

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Here we have a song that seems like it was made for Hellsing: the very appropriate “It’s The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)” by REM. Again Volume 7 spoiler warning! (Geez, writing this took forever…)

Just in, it starts with a zeppelin,
stolen boat that Rip was on (till Alucard did her in)
Sharpshooter opera buff, thought that she was so tough,
world serves its own needs, Nazis serve their own needs
Play among the dead, die, fear, no, strength, gone

Glasses start to shatter with blood drink don’t think
Admirals in England, representing armies strong
In a government that’s frightened in the long dark night
Off the coast and coming in a hurry with the furies breathing
down
your
neck–

One by one civilians baffled, chomped eaten drunk look at that bright light
Blown
Up
Uh-oh, overflow, vampire Nazis, silver shots and we need lots
Save yourself, serve yoruself, shot served Zorin’s need, listen to my heart bleed, dummy
With the tattoos and invaders, and the eye, eye
You drink my blood and take me in and slash, fight, big scythe,
feeling
pretty
psyched–

It’s the end of the world as we know it
It’s the end of the world as we know it
It’s the end of the world as we know it
And I feel fine

Driving home — grab a rifle, take the shot and be a sniper,
Aim and go, reload, thru the moving window,
Stopping short, then turning, tried fighting, wires catching
Nervous tension escalates, auto takes another way
Give an order, give an order–
Maxwell
Maxwell

Watch your army crush, crushed, uh-oh, this means
Gone mad, that’s bad, Alex please rebel fast
A battle fought a battle lost, a battle still to come
Shoot me if you’re gonna, otherwise give me a light
and walk
me
home!

(It’s time I had some time alone)

It’s the end of the world as we know it
It’s the end of the world as we know it
It’s the end of the world as we know it
And I feel fine

The other night I dreamt of war, coming back to London for
All of my restrictions go
Level Zero
Ccaptain Hans Günsche, Catholic soldiers, Major Max
Fighting, winning, bloodshed, Sir Hellsing, bow!
You’re my master give an order, kill them all,
right?
Right!

It’s the end of the world as we know it
It’s the end of the world as we know it
It’s the end of the world as we know it
And I feel fine

Fangirls Are Hell 37/60

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Meanwhile, in Heaven…

Dad Victoria: I love you.

Mom Victoria: I love you too.

Dad: Well, I love you more.

Mom: No, I love you more.

Dad: No, I love you more!

Mom: No, I….

Fargason: Are all couples in Heaven like them?

Arthur Hellsing: Pretty much, yes.

Mom Hellsing: No, I love you more!

Fangirls Are Hell 36/60

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A couple of these fans will be spotlighted later, but here’s the full list:
Down the left: Jang Severem, Benji, Alix, zen, and Eli
Along the bottom: Kenshin, Sarah, and Craig
Im the middle: Zombie, Jessica, and Jason Meyers
Down the right: Otaku of Stuff, Xuanwu, and red

Integra’s shoulder devil: What the Hell is going on here?

Fan 1: …..Integra is so damned hot.Integra is so cool. Integra is so awesome. Integra is the big cahona. Integra is a female…..oh yeah….yeah. Integra is protestant but still cool. Integra has glasses. Integra has all power.

Fan 2: OMG Integra is so hot and i wish she was MY master and i would do whatever she wanted and she’s so awesome with the shooting and the sword and

Fan 3: OMG Integra’s soooooooooooo hot! I mean she’s obviously one of the hottest, if not THE hottest character in Hellsing.

Fan 4: well, i don’t even need to write this part here, my friends could do it for me, although, they think its creepy how much i adore Integra (and im not talking about random adore, I’m talking about a set-anniversary-of-the-date-i-fell-in-love-with-her-adore [June 22nd w00t!]. Integra is THE perfect woman,

Fan 5: OH MY GOD!! integra is the coolest of all the hellsings cause she is the stongest woman alive!!

Fan 6: Integra’s so cool and Integra’s so hot and Integra’s crisp suits turn me on and Integra’s hair looks so smooth and pettable and Integra’s so nifty and British and

Fan 7: OH MY ****ING HELL! KYAA!!! Integra is the best!! She’s so sexy! She has the most georgous eyes, and the best legs, and the most lovely voice, and such silky looking hair! She drives me insane!

Fan 8: Integra is so god**** sexy inside and out. She has that fiery characteristics that make me weak in the knees and I can’t help but watch and read Hellsing over. And over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over. Um and I mean just look at her, she is just plain Hott. No wait she is more than that

Fan 9: Integra is so cool! So hot! I just drop at the sight of her! I love everything about her!

Fan 10: Well, I’m not much of a ranter, but Integra is so cool and calm and collected, and is SO BLOODY HOT! and she doesn’t show how upset she gets but

Fangirls Are Hell 35/60

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Baalberith: Here’s the door. Drop by my office any time, all right?

Shoulder devil: Give it up, Baalberith.

Baalberith: Are you sure you, personally, should be going down there?

Shoulder devil: I can take care of myself. Besides, I won’t be there long.

Kim: It’s her!

Jan: What the bleep is that bleeping bleep doing here?

Laura: It can’t be….

[EEEEEEEEEEE!!] [EEEEEEEEEEE!!]
[EEEEEEEEEEE!!] [EEEEEEEEEEE!!]
[EEEEEEEEEEE!!] [EEEEEEEEEEE!!]

Fangirls Are Hell 34/60

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Mmm, fishnets.

Shoulder devil: I’m here to see about a particular soul. In life, he was called Paul Wilson. There was a last-minute request at his death. He was consequently misfiled.

Here is i. He’s a mass murderer with a pathological need to be strong and in control. So, although he got in the way of the Hellsing mission, he was put under the jurisdiction of the dominatrix succubi.

Paul: *whimper*

Baalberith: Take him down to the right subcircle, then I’ll handle the paperwork. But why are you involved with the succubi? You’re only a devil on a person’s shoulder.

Shoulder devil: You know what that person’s like. If I want any fun, I have to get it somewhere else.

Fangirls Are Hell 33/60

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Baalberith: Well, put someone on it full-time! Look, I have connections. Mess with me, and it’ll get back to the big man himself…I don’t care how much you’re busy with!

Shoulder devil: Baalberith, do you have a moment?

Baalberith: Eh? I’ll call you back in a minute.

You just couldn’t stay away from me, could you, baby?

Shoulder devil: Don’t flatter yourself.

Fangirl Karaoke: New York City

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Okay, this one isn’t actually CTY canon…but it’s by They Might Be Giants, so it might as well be. The song is “New York City.” Again, Volume 7 spoiler warning!

I called you last week on the telephone
And you were glad to hear from me (but didn’t want it known)
You said, “Go out thru the front door! Kill those who would stop you.”
Now I cross the ocean who fight vampires and to help you

We met in your basement in a locked-up old cell
You were just a girl then, but a tough one, I could tell
You sent me to battle in the middle of the night
I crashed a plane, I beat Rip, it was the best night of my life

‘Cause everyone’s undead
In London, England
And all the town will be destroyed
When we’re through with things, and
The streets are paved with bodies
And there’s just so much to do
But the best thing about London, England is
Me and you

Alex Anderson, Captain Hans Günsche, that mad Major, Butler (who was Walter)
Tubalcain, Rip also, and shadows from longer ago
Catholic knights and lots of ghouls, noble Sir Integra (and she’s so cool…)

You told me to come back, just the other day–
Said, “The war is on us now, and you need to join the fray–”
I steered the boat, began to gloat — at last it’s gone this far
I’m two hours from London, England and I’m two hours from war

‘Cause everyone’s undead
In London, England
And all the town will be destroyed
When we’re through with things, and
The streets are paved with bodies
And there’s just so much to do
But the best thing about London, England is
Me and you

Fangirls Are Hell 32/60

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Here’s the ironically named Angel the Helena fangirl.

Helena: Do any of you even have any ideas?

Jan: Nothin’ besides bleepin’ divine intervention.

Incognito: …Like that?

Helena: No, that’s just a fangirl with fake wings on. Do try to stay on topic.

Fan 1: And the piercings, too! Awesome style. They’re everywhere! In fact, they’re probably even in some places I’d rather NOT know that they are, but who gives a BEEP?

Fan 2: Walter was so mean when he cut Jan’s arm!

Fan 3: making him even cooler than before, if that is possible. And you know, he’s just plain sexy with the piercings and all.

Fan 4: Oh where do I start? Helena is so cool! She is the ONLY one in Hellsing who likes to read as much as I do, and if I was a vampire I’d want to spend all my time with her so we could talk about all the books we’d read and we could figure out what else we’d like to read. I love her little library with the opera and the candles.

Fangirls Are Hell 31/60

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The first panel features my standard trick for getting fangirl-drawing out of my hair: having them all jump into Helena’s. Like Jessie the Helena fangirl, they all think her hair’s too soft and pretty to stay out of.

[EEEEEEEEEEE!!]

Helena: …all right, I’ll help. What do you know thus far?

Others: Well… / Er… / That isss… / Um…

Helena: What have I gotten myself into?

Sett: You mean besssidesss Hell?

Fan 1: teh black, and teh black is not a colour and non-colours are boring (just like me!) but it’s still awesome because it’s… Jan’s! And that makes everything better! And the FIRE! The Fire is so BEEPing cool, and think about it, he’s BEEPing crazy and BEEPing awesome in every BEEPing possible manner! Because I mean he’s about to die and what does he do? He BEEPing laughs! And it’s a cool laugh, too, completely cool and INSANE which is a very good thing, because insane people are just awesome.

Fan 2: Helena is so great! Helena is sooo smart and wonderful and pretty…she’s so sweet and mysterious and she loves books – just like me! – and I’m so jealous of her hair…

Fangirls Are Hell 30/60

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Sett: Wait a sssecond, kid.

Helena: Helena.

Sett: Missssss Helena…

The fangirlsss are alssso here via a mistake. If you have sssome knowledge of them, you ssshould asssissst us in dissscerning how to remove them.

Helena: No. The only thing I want is to be left alone.

Sett: And you think you can do this with fangirlsss clinging to you?

Fan 1: she’s so subtle because nobody knows if she hunts or not and even if she does I’d let her drink my blood to keep her coolness in the world! OMG Helena, tell me what book to read!!!!!

Fan 2: not been able to cope as well as she did, don’t get me wrong not trying to put Seras down at all but its just clear that what Helena said helped her so much in understanding her new life (or unlife). The way she stays permanently in a child’s body is such a good metaphor to, fragility of a child and all that, the old adage the wisdom of a child is so strong here.

Fan 3: than hide away oh sod it, only virgins can become vampires anyway, according to the manga, so there’s no real point, except DAMN! *Sigh* Oh, well…

Jan fan: And he’s strong too!

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