Enter Katie the Luke fangirl and Sophia the Jan fangirl.

[EEEEEEEEEEE!!]
[EEEEEEEEEEE!!]

Luke: More of them!

Jan: Bleep yeah!

Fangirl: just how he’s always got this grinning, wide-eyed expression on his face. And the piercings! Way cool! he’s just so bleeping awesome-looking!

Fangirl: I’m such a cute little devil but compared to Jan I’m a tick on the side of a road. And that’s why no matter what Jan is the best!

Fangirl: So many shinies on Jan’s handsome face.

Laura: Careful, you two! These things are too good to be true. There must be a catch.

Fangirl: uke is so tall and luke is so pretty and

Fangirl: OMFG! IT’S JAN! I LOVE YOU! You are like so **** cool. Lets have a crazy go nuts party now! W00t. You are so coo! I love your hat. The hat is one of the coolest hats ever!

Jan: What the bleep gives you that idea?

Laura: Well, we are in Hell.