Rejected punch line for Pip: “Of course ai em French! Why do you zink I have zis ree-diculous accent?”

Pip Bernadette is…The Vampire Hunter

Pip: G’day, mates!

Today we’re hot on the trail of a rare young English vampire!

Careful now. She looks cute enough, but this lil’ critter can drain me of blood an’ turn me into a mindless walkin’ corpse without breakin’ a sweat. Let’s get closer!

Seras: Captain? What are you doing?

Uh…

Pip: Crikey, look at th’ build on this ‘un! Now there’s a sight ye don’t see every day!

Seras: Back off!

Pip: Gotta watch out for those fangs, though!

Erin: Cut!

Sorry, guys, I’ve just had a note from the producers…It seems that the common assumption that Pip’s Australian is wrong — he’s French. So the whole basis of this parody is faulty.

Pip: Of course I’m French.

Erin: You knew?

Pip: Why wouldn’t I?

Erin: You could’ve told me that earlier, you know.

Pip: What, and miss out on the fun?

Seras: In a moment I’m going to get my gun back out.