Reseda: Restriction?…release…? But that would mean…there’d have to be a human who could…and a seal…
Reseda: All right, let’s do this.
Alucard (under breath): Releasing control art restriction to level one…
Reseda: Wait, wait, wait!
Control art what?
Pip: So, boss, why are you lettin’ him do this? You usually keep ‘im on a short leash…
Reseda (flashback): …someone stays down.
Alucard (flashback, telepathy to Integra): Pleeeeeeeease?
Integra: Call it an act of Christian charity. Now let’s go watch.
Reseda: Eternity is boring. And I heard somewhere that you were looking for a good sparring partner.
Reseda (telepathy): Something very odd is going on here. And I’m not leaving until I find out what.
Reseda: Let’s make it a simple challenge. Fight ’till sunrise or somebody stays down.
Alucard (telepathy): What’s at stake?
Reseda (telepathy): Whatever you like. Your fledgling. The impatient blonde human, perhaps.
Integra: Not in my house!!
Rejected punch line for Pip: “Of course ai em French! Why do you zink I have zis ree-diculous accent?”
Pip Bernadette is…The Vampire Hunter
Pip: G’day, mates!
Today we’re hot on the trail of a rare young English vampire!
Careful now. She looks cute enough, but this lil’ critter can drain me of blood an’ turn me into a mindless walkin’ corpse without breakin’ a sweat. Let’s get closer!
Seras: Captain? What are you doing?
Pip: Crikey, look at th’ build on this ‘un! Now there’s a sight ye don’t see every day!
Seras: Back off!
Pip: Gotta watch out for those fangs, though!
Sorry, guys, I’ve just had a note from the producers…It seems that the common assumption that Pip’s Australian is wrong — he’s French. So the whole basis of this parody is faulty.
Pip: Of course I’m French.
Erin: You knew?
Pip: Why wouldn’t I?
Erin: You could’ve told me that earlier, you know.
Pip: What, and miss out on the fun?
Seras: In a moment I’m going to get my gun back out.
Integra: You’ve gotten what you came for. Now leave.
Reseda: Wanna fight?
Reseda: Where is she?
Seras: Another vampire, called Incognito.
Reseda: Where is he?
Seras: My Master.
Seras: She said her spirit would wander the sky forever…
Reseda: Melodramatic and sappy. That’s Helena, all right.
Pip: You will explain this to me one day, right?
Pip’s thoughts: “Okay, it’s official – I’m completely lost.”
Integra: We don’t negotiate with vampires.
Reseda: Fair enough.
Reseda (telepathy): What do you go by now?
Alucard (telepathy): Alucard. And you?
Reseda (telepathy): Reseda.
Reseda (out loud): Alucard, have you seen Helena?
Alucard: No, but I believe my fledgling has.
Pip (thinking): Alors, c’est officiel — je suis completement perdu.
References to the secret organizations from the shows Silent Mobius and You-Gen-Kai-Sya, respectively.
Seras: You’re speaking of my Master?
Reseda: Of course not.
Your Master’s not the sociable type, fledgling. I only showed up here because I was hoping he could help me.
Him, or the local vampire hunters. What are you guys called? The A.M.P.? You-gen-kai-sya?
Walter: Wrong anime.
Reseda: Oh, right. Hellsing.