From top to bottom, Jen and Laurel the Alucard fangirls.

Fan 1: Alucard is sooo cool. He’s got these two huge guns, and he wears a groovy red coat, and he’s a vampire! How much cooler can one man get? He’s got red eyes, and he’s got a great sense of humor, and cool boots, and he smirks! He can walk through walls, and everything, and I wish he’d bite me. I wouldn’t mind being one of his children

Fan 2: Oooh! Alucard’s so awesome and powerful and strong and he can turn into a doggie! And eat people and kill things and regenerate and he gets to drink blood and he’s so cool he can like, impale idiots who get in his way and he has sexy black hair and the most awesome hat and the coat and he’s so awesome!!

Fan 2: I kinda hate pairings…

Fan 1: I’m not fond of them, but IxA, PxS…

Fan 2: SP is obvious, and I suppose, if you’re willing to stop thinking about the violence and think about the characters’ personalities, AxI…

Fan 1: So, knock Alucard into Integra?

Fan 2: Yep.