World's second-most-popular Hellsing-related comic.
Enrico: Can I borrow your glasses?
Integra: Why?
Enrico: To start the fire— you know, focus the sunlight—
…or we could just use your cigar lighter…
Integra: Give it back in one piece, and don’t burn down the forest.
Enrico: Your faith in me is astonishing.
Enrico (thinking): “Let’s go separate ways to get wood, so we can change clothes while we’re at it”? She had a change packed?? I just had my swimsuit and tank top… Oh no, what if all she has is that bikini? I won’t be able to think straight!
Enrico, you have to focus! She’ll walk all over you if you let yourself get distracted by her legs… and arms… and ch- —stop it! Jezebel was beautiful. Bathsheba’s beauty led David to disgrace himself in the eyes of God. But Esther was beautiful, and Judith was beautiful, and they’re heroines. Integra isn’t Judith! Focus!
Integra: Ready to start the fire?
Enrico: Er— Well— That is— —yes?
Enrico (thinking): So far, so bad…
Mother-of-a-Fangirl’s Definition Corner
Because my mom studies theology, and I assume most of you don’t.Jezebel = Old Testament queen who killed a whole lot of prophets.
Bathsheba = Beautiful wife of one of King David’s generals. David arranged for her husband to die in battle so that he could marry her.
Esther = Married the king of a foreign land to influence him to stop the government’s persecution of her people, the Jews.
Judith = Killed the general of an invading army by using her beauty to get close to him. (Catholic Bible only.)
Integra: The sooner we get out of here, the less time we have to spend near each other. Therefore…I’m going to go to sleep and try to contact Alucard in a dream.
Enrico: What? No!!
Integra: It’s the fastest way to get in touch with the rest of the world.
Enrico: Regardless, I will not have my rescue depend on your filthy, heathen monster.
Integra: I can order him not to kill you for the time being…
Enrico: It isn’t that I’m afraid. It’s that your creature is a blasphemy against God! I am not going to rely on such a thing. My fate is in the Lord’s hands; I will not turn it over to that … Devil!
Integra (thinking): Even if I do call Alucard, Maxwell will refuse to be rescued—he’s that stubborn, I’m sure. But I can’t just leave him here—no matter how annoying he is…
Well, Rome wasn’t built in a day—and I doubt a Roman’s mind can be changed in one.
Integra: So we’re building a fire, then?
Enrico: Splendid idea!
Enrico: Is it just me, or are we…
Integra: … on a desert island? Yes.
Enrico: This is starting to feel like a movie script.
Integra: I wish it was. In movies, islands are always equipped with easy-to-reach coconuts and fresh water springs.
Let’s get this boat on higher ground.
Enrico: How about an episode of Survivor?
Integra: Much as I would love to vote you off the island, it won’t happen. I’m more worried that this will end up like Lord of the Flies.
Enrico: But there aren’t any little boys on this island.
Integra: That’s debatable.
Enrico: I walked right into that one, didn’t I?
Integra: Like a sliding glass door.
Integra (thinking): It’s really a pity he isn’t like this all the time. He looks almost harmless while he’s sleeping.
Music: people make mistakes — we took the apple from the snake / and it always is the same, gotta find someone to blame
Enrico(thinking): [ngh…] Is it morning already?
Enrico: Integra, have you been up all night?
Integra: It’s easy not to sleep with Relient K on repeat blasting in your ears.
Music: maybe — maybe it was them
Enrico: Did I say you could borrow that? By the way… We’ve landed.
Protestantism in Europe was breaking off into different denominations as guys like Zwingli, Calvin, and Luther came up with different ideas about the new standards to replace the old Catholic ones.
But England was still Catholic… until Henri VIII got sick of his wife’s “failure” to produce him a son and wanted to get a new one. Problem is, divorce is against the Catholic rules. Only the Pope could annul Henry’s marriage — and didn’t. The solution?
Henry VIII: Get Parliament to pas this act… … which makes me head of the Church in England.
(Yes, the king shared power with Parliament that long ago. Told you England was odd.)
This puts England on the following roller coaster: Every ruler changes the national religion to whatever they happen to favor.
Henry VIII: Still basically Catholic, but I’m in charge!
Edward VI: I die young, but Protestantism advances.
Jane I: I’m only queen for twelve days anyway. (Protestant.) [See the movie Lady Jane for details]
Mary I: I restore Catholicism and suppress the Protestants.
Elizabeth I: I establish the Church of England, which is a form of Protestantism but closer to Catholicism than most. Also, I’m a great queen. The country adores me to this day.
The Church of England is sort of the mother church of the worldwide Anglican denomination, including the Episcopal Church in the USA. Because they don’t have all the Catholic rules, but do have some very Catholic elements (such as bishops), some Anglicans jokingly call themselves “Catholic Lite”.
Vatican City
National Religion: Catholicism
World center of: Catholicism
England
Nat’l religion: Church of England (Anglican)
World center of: Anglican Church.
So!
Given all this…
…given all this, you would think that the Catholics would get along better with Anglicans than any other religious group, Christian or otherwise.
You would think
Integra: Who let the Catholic in??
Enrico: Hey! We couldn’t even deal with you heretics if it weren’t a direct order from the Vatican!
Of course, you’d be dead wrong.
Jesus: Um, guys? I said “Peace”…
Proverbs 6:4 – “Allow no sleep to your eyes, no slumber to your eyelids.”
Psalm 4:8 – “I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.”
And the infamous Matthew 26:41 – “…The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”
Enrico: I actually have one of their CDs with me… The anatomyyawn—the Tongue in Cheek.
Integra: It looks as if I’ll be taking first watch.
Enrico: Nonsense. I’m not tired. I’ll watch first: you can get some sleep.
Integra: You need the sleep more than I do.
Enrico: Proverbs 6:4.
Integra: Psalm 4:8.
Fifteen minutes later
Enrico: Z
Integra (thinking): But Matthew 26:41 wins out in the end…
(Yes, I know their Christian songs are actually far too Protestant for Enrico’s tastes. Shh.)
Integra: So what you are saying is: maybe…
Enrico: Maybe it was them. Or maybe…
Integra: Maybe it was me. Or maybe…
Enrico and Integra: ♪Maybe it’s Maybeline♪.
You listen to Relient K?
Yes I listen to Relient K. You listen to Relient K?
Enrico: Wait a minute… if you were trying to “get away from it all”, why did you bring paperwork?
Not to mention suggesting that we take separate lifeboats—knowing full well that it would be safer to stay together—and then rationalize it as being myfault? Did you have your own rescue already planned— —is Hellsing responsible for the crash?
Integra: Of course not! The only reason I don’t suspect Iscariot is that you seem too honestly stupefied by the situation.
Enrico: Or it could have been the organization responsible for the freak chips. You still haven’t taken care of them.
Integra: Meaning you can blame Hellsing either way.
Integra: This vacation was supposed to give me a break from all of my worries. No vampires, no freaks, no paperwork (in theory), no fussy bureaucrats, nothing to deal with. I was meant to be isolated from all the anxieties of the Hellsing organization.
Enrico: I hate to interrupt your little self-pity rant, but…
Integra: “Self pity”?
I was just trying to explain why I didn’t bring a cell phone.