Renaldo: Is that it, sir?
Enrico: No, but —
Anderson: Is he telling the story about meeting Integra?
Enrico: Yes, I am.
Anderson: Can I listen in?
Enrico: I don’t see why not. Pull up a chair.
Renaldo: Wait, weren’t you there when he met Integra?
Anderson: Yes, but the story changes every time he tells it.
Enrico: It does not!
Integra: I’m a Protestant!
Enrico: Then you can’t play here. This is a Catholics-only sandbox.
Enrico (narrating): Naturally, she left.
Integra: Fine. Be that way. See if I care!
And that’s when she showed up…
Lord Hellsing: Now Integra, play nicely, all right?
Integra: Hi! I’m Integra Hellsing.
Enrico: Enrico Maxwell.
Integra: Can I help you build a castle?
Enrico (narrating): Of course, I had to know one thing first:
Enrico (past): Are you a Catholic or…something else?
Alex is much older than Enrico. In fact, he’s close to Walter’s age. Enrico, therefore, is not a reliable narrator.
Enrico: There was a small playground outside the church where the meeting was to take place. My mother told me to play nicely there while the adults talked; hopefully there’d be other kids to play with.
But until Integra showed up, there was nobody else there but me…
…and of course my best friend, Alexander Anderson.
Enrico (past): Alex, quit messing with the shovels and come help with my sand castle.
Tech: Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day…?
Hot, humid, full of bugs, not at all cool, with an aversion to work and a tendency to continually crash?
I think I shall…
Integra: Now look. I don’t care what your opinion is of Windows XP. Just install it on our network, now. Got it?
Tech: I don’t even want to think about what I’d compare her to…
Enrico: Let’s see. There was an international meeting of vampire hunters held here, and Integra’s father was coming…
Renaldo: Wait a minute. Her father? Just how long ago was this?
Enrico: Oh, ages.
We were both about five or six at the time…
This storyline was actually drawn before the Christmas one. And now you know why the art has gotten worse.
Vatican Section XIII – Iscariot Division.
Enrico: You mean there’s nothing going on? Nothing at all?
Renaldo: No vampires, no meetings, no problems. not a thing. In effect, we have a day off.
Enrico (thinking): Hmmm…
Enrico: Did I ever tell you about the first time I met Integra Hellsing?
Renaldo: I sense a lengthy flashback coming, sir.