Most of the tones in this story were made by my friend Maddie.

Seras: Seriously — smoking disrupts your nervous system, puts you at risk for cancer, and ups your chances of heart disease! And all the statistics show that it’s worse for women than for men — especially bad since heart disease kills more women annually than anything, even breast cancer!

Integra: Well, we all have to die from something.

Integra: …

Seras: …

Seras: I don’t.

Integra: I know! I know! Forget I said anything!